• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Daydream of loved/close ones dying

R

Rob2001

Member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
6
I'm sharing this with you because I feel that these thoughts I'm having are abnormal so I'm just a bit concerned about it and I hope you guys can help me out the best you can, thanks.

Normally this occurs as I'm in my bed trying to fall asleep (in the early afternoon because I work nights;may be relevant?). I'll be laying there trying to fall asleep when I begin to daydream, not as I'm falling asleep, of people close to me, such as a coworker or my mom, be seriously injured and I watch them die, much like a sad traumatic ending to a romance film.
For example, about an hour ago I was trying to fall asleep when I started to daydream these sad, unreal events.
Before I continue I just wanted to add that these thoughts don't simply 'take control' of me. It's as if my mind says "think sad/depressed thoughts" like it feels normal though I know it's completely not normal.
Anyways, so I begin to daydream of a female coworker of mine whom I dated a bit ago (we're really good friends now) and that she suffered from an aortic dissection and was rushed to the hospital. Next scene if you will I'm in the hospital at her side and as she's seconds away from death we kiss with tears running down my eyes (in my dream), as if we were meant to be together.

Another daydream I remember is that me and my mom were in a car wreck on the highway, and as I crawl out of the vehicle I see her laying some feet away from me, so I crawl up to her as I see she's dieing and tell her that I'm sorry for not being a better son, which for the most part is true and that I feel guilty about yet cannot help but not show any or little compassion towards her...

As I was writing this, I realized that maybe I'm having these daydreams because I feel guilty or because I feel there's still some love left. :S
I also sometimes wonder if my mom is my biological mother because lots of the time I feel that she isn't and I don't know why I feel that way.
I was also thinking that maybe I suffered from a childhood trauma that I don't remember at all and these are some of the effects?

I think that's about all I have to say. Thanks for reading and I hope you guys can help me out here.
 
R

Rob2001

Member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
6
I also wanted to add that I don't mind the sensation I get when I daydream of these things.
In a sense it feels soothing and relaxing. I just want to know why I'm thinking these weird thoughts.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Rob

This is an interesting point. Day dreaming or escapism in the dictionary is often explained as “the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.” However they can be negative. Almost everyone day dreams, as they also dream when they sleep, it is part of the human condition.

Some people use it to inspire creativness, such as artists or writers. Some people use it as an escape from reality, such as my regular daydreams of winning the lottery!

However I have had negative daydreams myself. The other day I daydreamed that my husband had died from being shot, i dreamt about it happening, other peoples reactions, my reaction, going to hospital, the hospital staff, the funeral, everything. It was awful and I worked myself into a state doing it, crying and everything.

I guess for me the key is looking at, and analysing the theme of the daydream rather than the actual content, and the feelings that I was left with afterwards. The feelings I had after that daydream was anguish, anxiety and a fear of abandonment, the fear that he should suddenly leave my life unexpectedly. I guess this was easier for me to do because over the years I have come to learn that I do have quite severe anxiety and abandonment issues. And this was just coming out in my daydream.

Maybe if you look at your common recurring themes, and the feelings you feel afterwards you might come to some sort understanding of what they mean to you.

I know that daydreaming can be a sign of post traumatic stress disorder but I can not say that is what you are suffering with. I thought it would be likely that you would suffer from other symtoms though, but I am not a medical/psychiatric professional to get that diagnosis you would have to consult a professional.

Most times when it is an unpleasant daydream I am conscious enough to know when to stop it. I stop it by concentrating on reality and grounding myself, and filling my thoughts with more positive things, like looking at photos of happy times or watching a comedy, or cooking, anything really.

With regards to your mum, only you have the power to find that out. But it might be worth looking at why you feel that way, could it be a misplaced feeling? It might be worth looking at whether that feeling is what is coming out in your daydreams.

To be honest, if it is causing you huge distress I would speak to your GP about it to put your mind at rest. They might have suggestions or refer you on to someone else to help.

I hope that helps :)
 
G

GrizzlyBear

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
971
People always say to me "You're not the only one to feel like that - so stop beating yourself up about it!"

When I was a child I used to fantasize about car crashes and injuries (often mine) and 'rescuing' my mom from the wreckage (but leaving my dad and sister to fend for themselves - ha!). I have fantasized about my death and the deaths of other people I love. It is sad but also, in some odd way, satisfying. I usually decide in the end that losing them is far too awful and I change my fantasy to one where we hug at the scene of rescue. More recently my fantasies have become happy ones...ones of joy rather than tragedy. As my mental health improves so my fantasies have changed.

Having been open about my fantasies (and others) I have discovered that they are not unusual at all. The world would be a happier place if only we knew how many other people think/do the same kinds of things we do.

Guilt is a terribly destructive thing and I often waste/energy time on it.
 
O

olan

Guest
that's too bad. i want to offer a little help but i don't know how. but thanks for sharing that to us! hope someone here had offered you a help you'd looking for. hope you get better.
 
B

billybobjr

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
1
Hi, I quite often daydream at work, i'm still focused at the same time as well which is weird but anywho. Its sometimes a quick random idea or bit from a film pops in my head and then my mind runs with it and it gets crazy and I start giggling and then people think ive gone mad lol.
However usually its negative!
usually its getting news that my familys been brutally murdered, or when gran was ill I would constantly have the daydream of my mum packing up her things, and her empty chair but the cigarette smoke still filling the room, the worse part was when it stopped I just wanted to leave work and call mum to check if that was real or not.
same with I dreamt my brother died and almost cried because I convinced myself he had. Luckily I have managed to tell myself its not real before over reacting. but it'll keep coming back throughout the day, once its there, its there as a flashing image. I hate it and feel crazy, so thanks for posting this, at least I know other people do to now. never told anyone about them.
 
Top