• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Day 2 of getting my life back

L

Lamb12345

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
4
So today is my second day of taking AD venlafaxine xr 75mg have no idea what to expect, have given up on being hopeful of anything these days. Usually such a positive happy person but went deep inside my walls following a series of bad life events including childhood abuse issues haunting me, I think that happened because i was getting low and for some stupid reason once I got low thinking about all things negative became my norm :( this has been devastating to me I do at times feel like a complete and utter failure hence why it's tsken so very long to seek proper medical help. God I hope this works because I'm at wits end with myself, I barely leave my house these days and I'm trying to keep my children's lives as normal as I possibly can hoping that my feelings don't affect them. I have so much to be grateful for and I cannot wait to really appreciate that, I feel awful like I'm totally out of control of my feelings, I'm sick of pretending that I'm ok when I'm really not, I've had to be so strong for my kids since their dad left 8 yrs ago, took over our business to support us and I guess I just wore myself out trying to do the right thing, I don't know exactly when everything started getting on top of me all I know is I've had to totally step away from the business and get my staff to run it because I just can't face anyone, it's now been approximately 3 yrs since I stepped out for a breather and now I can't even think about going back without flying into a panic attack or stressing out, I stress out that I'm not there helping also so I can't seem to win either way. Reaching out for help and telling my new partner and older two children that I've started on anti depressants was extremely difficult for me, I hope it's worth it. I find it easy to reach out and offer my support to other people in fact i do it all the time but I can't seem to help myself, strange. Trying to be positive!
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
15,696
Location
UK
Hi Lamb12345, :welcome: to the forum, good for you for making your first post, I hope you'll find it helps being amongst people who have been there too.

First I just want to say it's not stupid at all to find yourself thinking negatively about things, it's part and parcel of depression, and it isn't your fault, it's not something you would choose to do if you had complete choice in the matter. I have been hard on myself too for seeing everything in a negative light, it's very hard to accept that it's not something you can easily choose not to engage in, but blaming yourself for feeling as you do makes things even harder (and self-blame is also a feature of depression, so it's difficult to go easy on ourselves).

You have been through some very tough times, and have shown a lot of strength in keeping going to the extent you have. And now you are being strong again in admitting there is a problem and reaching out for help. You need time to recover and give yourself space and understanding for what you have been through. You are not a failure, it sounds like you have done your very best, putting your kids and your work responsibilities first, and giving it 100% effort. I hope now you can give yourself and your own well-being priority as well :hug:

I hope the venlafaxine helps, medication usually takes a little while to start having an effect, so you may not notice a difference straight away. And I would say, in my experience, that medication on it's own can't totally 'solve' how you feel about difficult events that have happened in your life - have you considered asking for some talking therapy as well? It may help to have somewhere to discuss more the way you have been thinking and feeling. I have found it very helpful in particular to talk about my abusive childhood experiences that have had a big effect on my life.

Welcome again Lamb, and I'm glad you've started out on the journey towards getting to better place in how you're feeling. Things can get better :peace:
 
L

Lamb12345

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
4
Thank you so much for your kind words! To be honest I didn't expect a reply, it was good just to get some of that out of my head! I will come back tomorrow, right now I think I need to get some sleep, make hay whilst the sun shines and all that. Your post was great, I'm sure I will read it again tomorrow :) take care
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Really hope that the anti-depressants help you out.
Sounds like you've had all sorts to contend with, and so it's great that you've finally reached out and sought help.
I hope your partner and children are supportive in your healing process. :hug:
 
L

Lamb12345

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
4
Thanks so much! My partner and children are supportive, I'm pretty independent though and a lot of the time I try to protect them by pretending I'm ok, that way I don't have as much guilt to contend with. Glad I took that step and def glad to have found this forum, it's good to know I'm not alone and that so many people have come through depression ok and strong. X thanks for the hug!
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
hORIzonFINK210 iM GETTING BACK INTO THE WORK LIFE Getting Your Life Back! 7
M Getting my life back on track Getting Your Life Back! 3
N Getting you life back but accepting you have an illness Getting Your Life Back! 13
Solitude1 Getting Back to Life... Some Problems Still Exist Getting Your Life Back! 1
D getting my life back and sorted. Getting Your Life Back! 2
J Living with BPD! And my road to diagnosis and getting my life back! Getting Your Life Back! 2
apple jump to paid part-time job - I'm not sure if this is the right step to getting my life back or not Getting Your Life Back! 20
V New life getting off abilify Getting Your Life Back! 3
J getting my life back Getting Your Life Back! 10
R getting life back Getting Your Life Back! 3
C Getting Help to rebuild my life Getting Your Life Back! 2
A getting ur life back Getting Your Life Back! 5
LORD BURT Getting my life back. Getting Your Life Back! 1
M Getting your life back and how to do it! Getting Your Life Back! 2
F Getting joy back into life Getting Your Life Back! 5
A recovery - getting your life back - what life? Getting Your Life Back! 9
C Getting a Partner. Getting Your Life Back! 15
M Tips for getting out the habit of quitting jobs? Getting Your Life Back! 7
S I am getting it together- but my depression-induced anxiety is still troublesome Getting Your Life Back! 6
Annelis Is there any point getting help? Getting Your Life Back! 5
wollie Getting fit Getting Your Life Back! 3
D Picking up the pieces getting back on track Getting Your Life Back! 3
Screechout Things are getting better (1 year on from my breakdown) Getting Your Life Back! 2
Lilbubble Getting to know yourself - who am I? Getting Your Life Back! 5
D Getting off pills Getting Your Life Back! 3
N [ how to getting back yourlife ?] Getting Your Life Back! 1
NicoretteGummed Getting Into Doctor Who!!! Getting Your Life Back! 1
S Getting out of a CTO Getting Your Life Back! 2
C Let's do this - getting off seroquel and lexapro Getting Your Life Back! 4
M Getting off meds for good help Getting Your Life Back! 1
shaky When you are trying hard and getting nowhere Getting Your Life Back! 2
I still getting accused Getting Your Life Back! 6
W Hi, I've just joined. Getting to better Getting Your Life Back! 4
M My voices are getting worse Getting Your Life Back! 2
E sheer panic of never getting back to happy Getting Your Life Back! 2
Caitjinoy Getting help Getting Your Life Back! 9
R getting back to normal Getting Your Life Back! 5
C Getting to a more positive place Getting Your Life Back! 20
P I have issues getting back to my (supported) flat. Getting Your Life Back! 4
N What are your 'getting better' NY resolutions? Getting Your Life Back! 14
V A good friend commiting suicide, and my road to getting off theese thoughts. Getting Your Life Back! 1
J Help on getting diagnosed required Getting Your Life Back! 2
Mentasm Getting motivated Getting Your Life Back! 11
mrlaurel getting out of the bedroom..... Getting Your Life Back! 23
NicoretteGummed Getting Computer Qualifications!!! Getting Your Life Back! 1
Anime-Alchemy Moving Forward and Getting Better as a Person Getting Your Life Back! 6
R Getting Aspergers removed Getting Your Life Back! 10
M So is anyone else Just getting out of a Rut? Getting Your Life Back! 10
G Getting Through Schizophrenia/Psychosis Getting Your Life Back! 10
D Getting there??... Getting Your Life Back! 1

Similar threads

Top