- Jan 24, 2015
So today is my second day of taking AD venlafaxine xr 75mg have no idea what to expect, have given up on being hopeful of anything these days. Usually such a positive happy person but went deep inside my walls following a series of bad life events including childhood abuse issues haunting me, I think that happened because i was getting low and for some stupid reason once I got low thinking about all things negative became my norm this has been devastating to me I do at times feel like a complete and utter failure hence why it's tsken so very long to seek proper medical help. God I hope this works because I'm at wits end with myself, I barely leave my house these days and I'm trying to keep my children's lives as normal as I possibly can hoping that my feelings don't affect them. I have so much to be grateful for and I cannot wait to really appreciate that, I feel awful like I'm totally out of control of my feelings, I'm sick of pretending that I'm ok when I'm really not, I've had to be so strong for my kids since their dad left 8 yrs ago, took over our business to support us and I guess I just wore myself out trying to do the right thing, I don't know exactly when everything started getting on top of me all I know is I've had to totally step away from the business and get my staff to run it because I just can't face anyone, it's now been approximately 3 yrs since I stepped out for a breather and now I can't even think about going back without flying into a panic attack or stressing out, I stress out that I'm not there helping also so I can't seem to win either way. Reaching out for help and telling my new partner and older two children that I've started on anti depressants was extremely difficult for me, I hope it's worth it. I find it easy to reach out and offer my support to other people in fact i do it all the time but I can't seem to help myself, strange. Trying to be positive!