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Daughter`s way of thinking.

C

carvel

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2016
Messages
1
Hello, I`m new here. I need to express my concern over my 34 year old daughter`s way of thinking. She has doubts about her sexuality and image which leads to anxiety, confusion, lack of concentration, mood swings and relationship difficulties. Just started going out with someone she met online. This guy seems nice, she likes him BUT he is of a small stature and a couple of inches shorter than her. She also states his head is small compared to his body. She compares him to others, not keen to show him to her colleagues..... she thinks that people will comment on him. At the same time she feels sorry for the way she treats him and causing insecurity in him. She did not mention anything about the way she thinks about him. Him being tall is of paramount importance to her as she likes tall, well build men. No matter what family and friends say to her.....that image is not important but how he treats her is more important, she insists that she`s right thinking this way. Been going to psychologists, therapists but she is so convinced that she feels that there is no way out for her and nobody understands her. Has anyone had a similar experience? Would really love to help her, don`t know what else to do except keep insisting seeking help. She`s refusing medication as they never seemed to help, these thoughts keep coming.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,160
maybe his head IS too small for his body...? :shrug:
 
D

Daypass

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2016
Messages
363
She has doubts about her sexuality and image which leads to anxiety, confusion, lack of concentration, mood swings and relationship difficulties

Do you mean identity when you say image or are you talking about her physical apperance?

Are you/she religious people? Perhaps she has confusion, lack of concentration, mood swings and relationship difficulties regardless of being unsure about her sexuality at times.

Been going to psychologists, therapists but she is so convinced that she feels that there is no way out for her and nobody understands her.


Well in most cases you need to help someone understand you better and that starts with learning to understand yourself. Some psychologists and therapists aren't very good and especially aren't very good if a person isn't drawing them a roadmap. Like anything, most doctors aren't good, they are average. There are some good and some bad, but like the bell curve shows, most are in the middle, just average.

It took me about 6 psychiatrists and therapists deep before i found a decent enough one and it's likely i made him decent by being so up on myself that i was able to paint a very clear picture for him. That has been my experience.

I even had a pyschiatrist once tell me that there was nothing wrong with me at all. She did this not based on any knowledge about me other than knowing that my dad died when i was young. I was in the ER for threatening to kill myself.


he is of a small stature and a couple of inches shorter than her. She also states his head is small compared to his body


We all have things. I couldn't date someone with poor posture. They could be a billionaire super model but it just wouldn't work out. (ok i would date them to try and steal their money!) but you get my point.
Er, and yes there are plenty of actresses and models with poor posture, i perhaps have a werid definition of poor posture.


So basically, medication is likely not helpful in your daughter's case if it's more odd thinking and superficial kind of stuff that you are seeing. She kind of sounds pretty normal, i am only assuming because you're posting here that there is other stuff going on.
 
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