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Dating with social anxiety

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Natalie355

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Essex
How do people get out the friend zone when you have social anxiety.

I'm 22 and have been seeing a guy for 6 months and we met on a dating website, all we've done is hug at the end of every date and we've touched hands once.
I'm good at eye contact, I'm not too bad with carry on conversations but could improve a bit more. But I really struggle with asking questions and starting conversations.

I've never had a boyfriend before and really scared that if I don't start talking more, we are just gonna stay friends forever and I'm gonna stay single forever. Does anyone else struggle to get past the friend zone and how do you know when someone likes you as more than just a friend.
 
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Natalie355

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He also puts a kiss on the end of every text he sends me (sorry forgot to put that in)
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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After six months I'd ask him what he wants from the relationship, maybe he is just as nervous as you ?

Maybe word it like ..." So would you like this to be more than friends ? ..."

Or " Hey I was thinking it would be nice for you to meet family/friends/the dog ..." Who ever you want him to meet... That can be a good sign of things ...

Or "would you like to come to mine for a meal ?" Bit only ask that one of you are comfortable with him coming to your house ... And of you not wanting things to go to fast it can always be lunch and not an evening meal ?

Could be a phone call or text but maybe better in person, so you can truly see his reaction ?

Just my two cents x
 
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Natalie355

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Essex
That's the problem I'm too anxious to ask even by phone.
He does ask me to meet just as much as I ask him. He has said before you have to focus on yourself first and he does really help me with my anxiety.
When we did hug for long time or the time we touched hands, were the days where I talked a lot for me. So I was thinking he was waiting for my social anxiety to be under control first.
And we haven't even kissed so really we are only friends at the moment anyway, doesn't mean we won't be more eventually. Everyones relationships go at different speeds, mines just could be going a bit slower than other people's.
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

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Then if you are happy going at your pace that's all that matters ... X
 
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Natalie355

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Yeah I thinking get more confident with conversation and see how it goes, maybe ask bit later on and even if he doesn't want more at least I could get a friend out of it.
 
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Natalie355

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Essex
Yeah I try not to think about it as much as possible, there are times where I might come across uninterested.
I am talking more and getting more confident each time I meet up with him though. Half the time he gives signs that theres still a chance for more then other times it's like nothing more with happen. I guess I just need to see where it goes and if I'm still not sure just tell him how I feel then I'll know for sure.
Are you seeing anyone? If not I'm sure you'll find someone, they'll come when your not looking and least expect it.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Maybe the time has come to give him a nice kiss on the lips. It will be sending an obvious message which will not need words to convey, and it will probably spark a more intimate dialogue in terms of how the two of you truly feel for each other, and about your future together, as well.

The language of love.
 
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Natalie355

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I so wish I could get enough confidence to actually do that. I was thinking of trying to flirt more but I don't actually know what counts as flirting, I don't even know if I've been doing any flirting so far.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Aw, I see, yes.

Well, that's all I can think of unfortunately. Or maybe write him a little love letter sort of thing, hehe.

His signs of affection are there obviously, so, it would most likely, to me, have a positive outcome.

I'm 95% sure.
 
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