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Dating someone with anxiety

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Sherry89

New member
Joined
Oct 13, 2018
Messages
4
Hi,
I met someone a month and a half back who’s dealing with depression and anxiety, i met him through an online dating app and we hit it off instantly. He had issued regarding his weight as he is overweight but I told him that doesn’t bother me as long as we connect.
We kept on meeting every alternate day, he was really nice to me, made plans and took me out, we spoke daily and even got intimate. I felt he liked me and he was surprised that I didn’t run away even after knowing about his issues. He used to say that what are you even doing with a damaged man like me. He also said let’s take a break and all but he ended up calling me or talking to me.
Off late, our communication decreased and he had said he wants to keep it this way coz he is not in that state for a relationship. He’s been through a traumatic relationship before. Recently, i was having a really bad day and i told this to him over text. He was also having a bad day then but i thought he’d at least listen to me. I texted him that i thought he’d call so he ignored it and he was online and ignoring my msgs so i was like let’s not talk and all, i got a bit impulsive. He later told me that he was out shopping for my friend’s hubby as i had asked his help a few days back and this is what I tell him. I felt so bad and apologised. We were supposed to meet today but he said no as I caused him anxiety and for him, his recovery is important. He doesn’t want to meet me or talk to me for the next 2-3 weeks. I couldn’t say much but agreed to what he said. He is a great guy and i like him so i want to stick around. I was feeling bad that i caused him anxiety but it was unintentional. He said what i did was normal to expect but he is not in that state. How do i go about this? Especially when he is trying to push me away. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I just have no clue. Thanks a lot.
Also, one last thing since he cannot commit to a serious relationship, he is active on dating apps. Though when he was with me, he was just seeing me but he had opened his dating app last time when we met. He does that to make me feel jealous also but he opened that app and i saw this girl he was talking to. I just feel what if during these 2-3 weeks, he finds someone else. I am a bit insecure considering how my past relationships have been so i get all these thoughts. I have tried my best to be understanding and supportive for him but feel bad it just backfired. Kindly help
 
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Sherry89

New member
Joined
Oct 13, 2018
Messages
4
Hi,
Thank you for your response. He is already on medication but I am unable to understand what made him react this way. I thought he liked me, his actions implied that. Now, I don’t know if he is deliberately trying to push me away or he wants a way out of it. He had told me that he will not hurt me since he’s been hurt before. I just found him a bit detached and firm today and I felt like he is someone who’s been so hurt but he is someone who believes in long-term. He came across as a deep and sensitive person but I am just so confused by his reaction.
 
Roo1983

Roo1983

Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
6
He is lucky to have you there for him.Try and be there for him.Im going through something similar but I’m the one pushing someone away.It kills me as I’ve ended things with someone I love more than anything but after a toxic 14 year relationship it really damaged me.I feel by pushing him away he will find the happiness he deserves even tho it’s killing me.I do hope he gets the help and over comes it depression.
 
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