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Dating someone depressed: What can I do?

A

AngryBird21

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
34
Location
India
I understand that not everyone experiences the similar kind of things through depression or even if they do, don't choose to respond to the experiences in a similar way but I really would like to know some of the experiences of others in my situation.

The person I have been seeing for almost 2 years now is severely depressed. He is 26, unemployed and lives with his emotionally abusive (sometimes physically too) toxic parents. He got a job offer 2 years back but rejected it because he wanted to pursue research but things didn't quite pan out as planned and with the pandemic, getting a job got even harder. You have to understand here that we live in a third world country which is overpopulated and employment as well as higher educational opportunities are very scarce alongwith a very poor if not almost non existent mental health infrastructure. Most of us just cannot afford therapy and the little free counseling that can availed becomes difficult to access because our parents still stigmatize it.

So there's really isn't much that can be done here to actually help the situation. He has been very pessimistic and doesn't really feel happy about anything anymore. I feel helpless and the fact that he is so depressed affects me too. It's a lot of negativity to be around.

How can I create healthy boundaries yet still be there for him through this?
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
1,603
Location
Argentina
Hmm , quite hard. People who feel depressed due job are really hard to help in my experience, theres nothing worse as feeling like unworthy in life.

Be there for him, maybe the best you can do. Ask him how he feels, be warm with him. Go out, make him distract from his problems.

But at the end, depending on how bad he feels, he can stlll feel pretty bad.
 
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Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
789
You need to make sure you are in a good place yourself as your relationship will struggle unless you are able to cope with the strains that having a relationship with someone with depression puts on you. I would not try to be a therapist or psychologist for your boyfriend. He needs practical help from you.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,462
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
You need to make sure you are in a good place yourself as your relationship will struggle unless you are able to cope with the strains that having a relationship with someone with depression puts on you. I would not try to be a therapist or psychologist for your boyfriend. He needs practical help from you.
Very good advice, you give.
 
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