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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Dating, schizophrenia and coping.

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RosieLily

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Mar 5, 2021
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After living in my bubble for so long, I finally left my comfort zone and allowed somebody to approach me. He took me to a nice cozy cafe for our first date. It was lovely. He was complimenting me a lot and seemed to really like me. The poisonous voices tried to ruin it for me once again but I didn’t let them. I’m on meds that help me and I have worked so hard in and out of therapy, it’s gotten easier, so I was honestly in bliss after the first time I met him.

Second date he took me to dinner. He brought me flowers. Told me I’m beautiful and lovely. He was happy to be around me. People have the right to know what they are getting themselves into, so I told him that I have it. He didn’t say much after that and looked uncomfortable. A little while later he said he had to use the restroom, and guess what, he never came back. I waited like an idiot, paid for our meals and left, discovering that he has blocked and deleted me everywhere.

I understand that some people don’t want to deal with this. But that was so cruel. To just leave me there, waiting.

Now my illness is taunting and mocking me for being this stupid. For being naive and a dumbass. Telling me that I’m better off dead. I’m only 22, why can’t I be normal.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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I am sorry to hear that. There are good men out there. You have that experience now, you are wiser for it.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Im so sorry that happened to you.sending you hugs.
 
Marrex

Marrex

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I know this doesn't make things feel any better, but you're better off. I don't know you, but I understand the plight of wanting people to know what they're getting themselves into. I've done that, and 9/10 times I never hear from 'em again. The others... Well any conversation quickly dies out over the next few days. HOWEVER, I will say this: it's better to explain yourself to people because the ones that stay and make an effort to continue talking to you? Those are the ones worth keeping. I only have one friend, but she's an amazing person and I couldn't ask for better.

I respect that you want people to know what they're getting themselves into. It's brave, and in my opinion, the right thing to do so as to not waste either party's time. Still, the fact that that guy left you hanging AND with the bill no less... Yeah, dude's got issues of his own, I can guarantee you that.
 
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OrchestralOne

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Mar 6, 2021
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I know this doesn't make things feel any better, but you're better off. I don't know you, but I understand the plight of wanting people to know what they're getting themselves into. I've done that, and 9/10 times I never hear from 'em again. The others... Well any conversation quickly dies out over the next few days. HOWEVER, I will say this: it's better to explain yourself to people because the ones that stay and make an effort to continue talking to you? Those are the ones worth keeping. I only have one friend, but she's an amazing person and I couldn't ask for better.

I respect that you want people to know what they're getting themselves into. It's brave, and in my opinion, the right thing to do so as to not waste either party's time. Still, the fact that that guy left you hanging AND with the bill no less... Yeah, dude's got issues of his own, I can guarantee you that.
👆 This ☝

@RosieLily people can be cruel. I'm sorry someone treat you this way. His behaviour is a reflection on himself, not you :hug:
 
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squizofrenia123

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Nov 21, 2020
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earth
Only tell people about your illness if you can trust them. I don't think it is necessary to tell anybody about your private information unless you plan to live with them. I have a policy now not to tell anybody unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't think of myself as an illness, but a person. So, why should you feel a need to disclose unless you think it makes the other party feel comfortable which it doesn't! I would bring it up if they disclose their illnesses if you feel it is necessary. Otherwise, don't tell if not asked about it. In my experiences nobody has really accepted me as a person once I told them about my illness. They either dropped me sooner or later. Also, people think I'm pretty stable in the head these days because I work and do a good job. I am also compliant and know the only person who will take care of me is myself. So, why do I need to tell anybody anyways?
 
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squizofrenia123

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So, I think you should not feel bad about disclosing because what did you expect him to do? Yes, he is a jerk but honestly people these days are not so understanding. You are better without him. But, you don't need to go through such misery to find out if people will accept you. The best way to handle this is to ask the other party what do they think about mental illness? If they give you a negative response, then just smile and let them go yourself. You don't need to disclose your own illness.
 
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RosieLily

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Mar 5, 2021
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Baltics
So, I think you should not feel bad about disclosing because what did you expect him to do? Yes, he is a jerk but honestly people these days are not so understanding. You are better without him. But, you don't need to go through such misery to find out if people will accept you. The best way to handle this is to ask the other party what do they think about mental illness? If they give you a negative response, then just smile and let them go yourself. You don't need to disclose your own illness.
I fully understand where you’re coming from. He probably thought I was about to attack him or something. Not being 100% open about it from the start would make me feel incredibly guilty though. It’d feel like I’m trapping somebody and lying to them.. But I think your suggestion to be more vague about it is a very good one. I feel better now, still taken aback. Once I get myself out there again, I will try approach it that way!

But I’m glad to hear you seem to have control over it. It’s sad people usually run away from it. My own parents disowned me after I came clean, it is a struggle. It is what it is.
 
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RosieLily

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Baltics
I know this doesn't make things feel any better, but you're better off. I don't know you, but I understand the plight of wanting people to know what they're getting themselves into. I've done that, and 9/10 times I never hear from 'em again. The others... Well any conversation quickly dies out over the next few days. HOWEVER, I will say this: it's better to explain yourself to people because the ones that stay and make an effort to continue talking to you? Those are the ones worth keeping. I only have one friend, but she's an amazing person and I couldn't ask for better.

I respect that you want people to know what they're getting themselves into. It's brave, and in my opinion, the right thing to do so as to not waste either party's time. Still, the fact that that guy left you hanging AND with the bill no less... Yeah, dude's got issues of his own, I can guarantee you that.
This made me feel a lot better, thank you! I’m sorry for replying this late, this incident somehow really affected me.

I’m happy you’ve found a friend who accepts you! That must be so comforting. I hope I’ll find mine soon!!
 
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ramboghettouk

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Founding Member
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Jan 7, 2008
Messages
17,304
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london
i thought it was women i thought men were only interested in womens bodys and it wouldn't be an issue, probably get into trouble for saying that

it does hurt i know, maybe as my brother would put it it's evolution in action, since saying that he's ended up in a wheelchair, maybe darwinion evolution is a natural process you can't change and have to live with
 
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ramboghettouk

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Jan 7, 2008
Messages
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london
just phoned up a women told we've got nothing in common what have i a schitzo got in common with non schitzo women, experiences so weird
 
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