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Dating a sociopath-

Ras

Ras

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Yeah- I can trust that he isn’t going to be a fairytale and will always have a wandering eye, but for as much as he can let someone in, he’ll let me.
When he’s saying he’s depressed over missing his son and doesn’t want to talk to or see anyone at the moment including me, how am I really supposed to get him to let me in? He’s done this before, shutting me out for this reason, once said he needed a therapist before things got “really bad” but then ended up refusing to get any help bc no one could “bring his kid Back.”
sounds like he has just given up with seeing his kid and would rather be depressed and do nothing. Nothing will change with him, if he has that attitude and highly likely he will just get worse.
 
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Gbx83

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sounds like he has just given up with seeing his kid and would rather be depressed and do nothing. Nothing will change with him, if he has that attitude and highly likely he will just get worse.
You’re probably right, because that’s been my experience in the last few years- he’s just more detached, not even trying to kiss me during sex, just asking out loud for me to do (explicit thing). I just want so badly to feel I gave it all I could no matter how much I have to do for him
 
Ras

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You’re probably right, because that’s been my experience in the last few years- he’s just more detached, not even trying to kiss me during sex, just asking out loud for me to do (explicit thing). I just want so badly to feel I gave it all I could no matter how much I have to do for him
you care about him that much you are willing to put him before you? sounds like that is what you are going to keep doing. i hope he is worth it
 
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Gbx83

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you care about him that much you are willing to put him before you? sounds like that is what you are going to keep doing. i hope he is worth it
He probably isn’t worth it in any real sense. I just want to know how I could succeed because for whatever reason he’s irreplaceable to me
 
albagobragh

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He probably isn’t worth it in any real sense. I just want to know how I could succeed because for whatever reason he’s irreplaceable to me
Think you've got to value yourself a bit higher than you are doing just now. You deserve better than he is offering. I can't shake the feeling that if you stick with him, you'll regret it.
 
Ras

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He probably isn’t worth it in any real sense. I just want to know how I could succeed because for whatever reason he’s irreplaceable to me
well if he is irreplaceable to you, that makes him worth it im sure. I dont really have anything else to add to this but yeah i dont think he is a sociopath and do think you should put yourself first. just my two cents though be it worthless as it is.
Hope it all works out for you
 
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MHFPokeplantz

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He probably isn’t worth it in any real sense. I just want to know how I could succeed because for whatever reason he’s irreplaceable to me
Wish I could help/advice you in a case like this, its really really tough

It seems maybe the only way is by working on your affective/love dependence, or Codependence

As you stated he hardly would be worth it, he already warned in many ways, and whenever confronted he just cuts contact or attacks, so as much as possible it would be better to not get closer
 
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Gbx83

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I’m starting to feel it’s really bizarre for someone to call himself a sociopath and say he can’t feel anything like attachment, then message me like all day every day and want to meet for meals that have nothing to do with sex. I almost wonder if saying he’s a sociopath is an excuse in case (when) his inconsiderate behavior disappoints me
 
T E_90

T E_90

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I’m starting to feel it’s really bizarre for someone to call himself a sociopath and say he can’t feel anything like attachment, then message me like all day every day and want to meet for meals that have nothing to do with sex. I almost wonder if saying he’s a sociopath is an excuse in case (when) his inconsiderate behavior disappoints me
A sociopath has no feelings for anyone, it's true, but he can have some attachment for his family, for you,..but less than others and in a very different way.
Personally speaking, (to be clear I'm not diagnosed with anything specific yet) I feel nothing for anyone, any kind of emotional attachment.
I'm unable. But I do care and have feelings for my family and my pets, but it ends there.
Having no feelings for anyone, though, it doesn't necessarily mean being insane or lying.
It can happen for anything and normally you don't choose it.

So now, the fact that he made it clear to you that he doesn't have attachment for anyone, might be he simply felt like opening up and telling the truth about what concerns the rest of the world. Asking for meals together, he may just feel in the mood to talk and didn't find any other way in that moment.

In this case (if he's a sociopath as you're saying, so usually manipulative) if he isn't only interested in a chat, I could say It normally may be that there's an ulterior motive.
It could be a way of using you for a specific purpose, perhaps to keep you from leaving him because he would lose whatever he's gaining from you right now.
I could think that not asking you about sex, is a way to give you confidence in the fact that he's not only interested primarily in that, but also to you as a person, of your being, so as not to make you feel used and so on ( "it isn't just your body in which I'm interested but also your mind...." and various stuff like that in order to give you confidence and get to what the purpose really is)
IF, of course, I understood correctly.
I might be wrong and it could be as you say and be a lie just to excuse his inconsiderate behavior,
but in general it goes like this.

Anyway, I'm sorry I know it can be an intricate situation to live in
I tried helped in the way I could
 
MildlyIrritated

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I’m starting to feel it’s really bizarre for someone to call himself a sociopath and say he can’t feel anything like attachment, then message me like all day every day and want to meet for meals that have nothing to do with sex. I almost wonder if saying he’s a sociopath is an excuse in case (when) his inconsiderate behavior disappoints me
Sociopathy has nothing directly to do with sex, it's just a relative or absolute lack of concern or even understanding of the needs of others.

He may be asking you out for a meal because he wants that specific form of social encounter at that given moment.

You clearly have difficult feelings for this individual but from what you've been describing so far there's absolutely no logical or healthy reason for you to stay in contact with him, he cares about what he feels he can get from you, but not for you. And you sometimes seems to be confusing those two.
 
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Mary26

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He doesn't sound like a sociopath at all. He sounds depressed, even brokenhearted. I suspect there's way more to the story. But no, he's not looking for a relationship and he's not emotionally available. He really is looking for sex and attention to comfort him.
 

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