• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Dating a sociopath?

1

1234

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Canada
This guy I have been seeing seems to check a lot of boxes for being a sociopath. He is very charming, full of complements for me, huge ego and actually wondered aloud to me if he was a sociopath...

How can I tell if he is a sociopath? We haven’t slept together yet but he is very very keen to... would a sociopath stick around if I withhold sex? I stopped the progress a few times and wouldn’t let him go any further. Would a sociopath have put up with stopping the progress towards sex muitiple times? And would a sociopath have stopped and said I can tell you are uncomfortable so we shouldn’t do this until you are completely comfortable?

Thank you!
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,850
Do you mean sociopath or narcissist ?

If the person is showing genuine empathy then they are unlikely to be a sociopath ....

Take care whatever you do xx
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
1,665
Location
Sheffiield
I've always thought a sociopath was unable to think of anyone but themselves and had no concept of right or wrong among other things.

But here is 16 ways to spot a sociopath.

 
fazza

fazza

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
1,880
Location
U.K
Not a reliable source I know but this was a little surprising

Since 1 in 25 people are sociopaths, statistically everyone has interacted with one, probably without knowing it. This suggests that most interactions people have with us are either positive or neutral, or at least not outside the norm in the negative.25 Aug 2013
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
806
Location
Uk
It would depend I guess on what he actually wants from you. If he sees a long game plan, then he may know you're withholding to see how he reacts and so is doing the "good" thing in order to fool you and gain your trust.

So I would say yes, a sociopath could put up with you stopping progression and they could also say they understand you're uncomfortable and so you shouldn't do anything until you are. I mean that in itself is an ideal way to make somebody believe you're trustworthy when you're not.

I would be very hesitant on continuing a relationship with somebody who claimed they were anything like a sociopath. They are usually very clever and deceitful.
 
1

1234

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Canada
Oh I’m so confused! I’ve read they can fake emotions so I don’t know how to tell if he is genuinely empathetic or not? Is there something I could ask that would catch him off guard?
And yes I’ve read they can be very manipulative and do whatever/act however to achieve their end goal.

Maybe I should just end it to be safe?
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,465
Location
London
if you have weird feelings use your intuition that gut feeling if he is a creep motherfucker vibes cut him out we cant tell you what to do we dont know him
 
P

PoppyBlossom

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2019
Messages
19
Location
London
I dated a sociopath/psychopath I met on tinder. I’m obsessed with psychopathy (because it’s fascinating) and knew full well it was a really bad idea to even meet this person. Unfortunately I caught feelings towards him obsessively quickly because I was so depressed and lonely. He was very funny but very mean. Very handsome, very intelligent. Obviously “crazy” seeming, his energy was incredibly ill at ease. Very agitated, constantly needing stimulation. Very sensitive also. He would be nice only if he had to. Other than that he would try to see how bad he could treat me and get away with it. He could never apologise. He was incredibly manipulative and lied a lot. I found it all very hot. We had sex on the first date, but it was shit because he was so deeply lazy and selfish about it. I stopped because I was like “I’m not really into this [sex]” and he talked me back into it. Also he was so completely emotionally cut off. He knows he’s a sociopath (I later found out). He was totally extreme though, like he was playing up to it. He said he trolled girls on tinder. So beware. He was scary and it was dangerous. He was an alcoholic and we took a lot of drugs together. It was unhealthy and toxic but it turned me on, the thrill of it. Through out and at the end I guarantee you though, it will end in tears. Lots and lots of emotional abuse and pain and tears. I still miss him though, with all his madness. Interesting, destructive experience.
 
EyeCU2

EyeCU2

Active member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
29
Location
Oakland, CA
In my opinion, Sociopaths will do everything possible in the beginning, to give their victims the illusion they are the best you've ever met. You need to read more on personality disorders because, I believe that the one "sign" they all share, is the ability to HIDE WHO THEY REALLY ARE. I believe that ALL sociopaths have experienced early childhood trauma, ALL claim to be the victim and never the perp, usually have issues with their family, don't have many or any friends, are flirtatious, rarely ask questions, and are always concerned about their appearance.
IF YOU SUSPECT strongly this guy has any personality disorder, especially sociopath, UNDERSTAND THIS - in my opinion they WILL hurt you. I don’t believe that they will change, they LACK the ability to CARE, and they are Academy Award class ACTORS. In my opinion, they USE people, abuse people, then toss them aside and find someone else immediately. I consider them to be much worse than vampires, and I doubt Satan could be worse than them.
After years of feeling confused, depressed, and worthless being married to the man I thought was perfect, I discovered he was not only a textbook sociopath, he was ADHD and suffered birth trauma as well! I made the worst decision of my life, by telling him I knew. The things he did and said scared me deeply. I wasted many years of my life with a man who wasn't who he pretended to be at all. He was, and still is, all a lie. DO NOT EVER LET A SOCIOPATH GET CLOSE TO YOU, ESPECIALLY INTIMATELY. NOTHING WILL EVER MAKE IT WORTH DOING.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
EyeCU2

EyeCU2

Active member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
29
Location
Oakland, CA
Oh I’m so confused! I’ve read they can fake emotions so I don’t know how to tell if he is genuinely empathetic or not? Is there something I could ask that would catch him off guard?
And yes I’ve read they can be very manipulative and do whatever/act however to achieve their end goal.

Maybe I should just end it to be safe?
MAYBE? You need to actually think about saving your life? I believe that YOU, CANNOT "trick" a sociopath, and they WILL know that is what you are trying to do, because that is THEIR game. I believe that THEY WON'T let on that they know, what they will do in my opinion, is torture you emotionally while they hunt for a new source and then walk out without a care in the world. ASK YOURSELF - WHY AM I SO TEMPTED TO PLAY WITH FIRE, WHEN I KNOW I WILL GET BURNED?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Top