dark side being slightly contained...but also really NOT

A

Asphyx117

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Dec 14, 2010
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I have just written a very sensible and rational post in my livejournal blog about my feelings and how I'm clinging to rationality and not resenting anything - thats the sensible side.

but this part- the dark side- wants to tell everyone they can actually f**k off and die, I genuinely despise everyone and myself and all I wanna do is drive back to the bridge I sat at on the m3 today and crash my car through the barrier at 100mph and fly off the bridge into the fucking speeding motorway traffic, I am sick of this fucking pain and the ebb and flow of misery I bring to everyone and everything around me because I have no control over my mind at times, I am deluded, i am narcissistic, I deserve nothing and nobody and that's what I will get, so tell me, whether you believe in the right to commit suicide or not, what is the fucking point in living to make everything worse for the next 60 years? NOTHING will EVER get better. EVER. because it ALL starts and ends with me, and im not in control of that person anymore and dont want to live in her shadow for another miserable fucking day:cry:
 
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darknight

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Feb 8, 2011
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Scotland, UK
Oh i feel like that at times, but there is point, because things could and hopefully will change, you really just have to believe it.
I personally think suicide is wrong, but for some reason my own feelings about it aren't like everybody elses, for eg if someone threatened to do it i'd never let them, but on me it's just not a big deal, cos i mean so little to anyone.
 
A

Asphyx117

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Dec 14, 2010
Messages
40
Location
London
thanks darknight sometimes it helps to know its not only me that lets emotions get so on top of them...things have actually got a LOT worse in the last few days, I came on here tonight because I feel so...guideless. Hows things with you
 

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