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Dark Night of the (Not) Soul.

Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
@dewey, I had a relationship with someone with BPD who I loved very dearly, if she didn't use soo much alcohol to deal with her emotions and I hadn't wanted to solrt my drinking out I would still be with her now, it was the msot intensely passionate relationship I've ever been in so I have a little insight into the condition. She wasn't diagnosed then but I suspected she had BPD. I'm usually up in the early hours even though I think your in a different time zone, I'm here to talk anytime.

I will tell you this though it took me a few years of meditation to start to break the Paranoid responses and thoughts and I couldn't do it without meds, however, the results were worth it.
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
@dewey, I enjoyed the conversation and if I wans't on here talking to you I'd only be playing video games (well I snuck off to meditate for twenty minutes a couple of times. :D).
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
@dewey, I had a relationship with someone with BPD who I loved very dearly, if she didn't use soo much alcohol to deal with her emotions and I hadn't wanted to solrt my drinking out I would still be with her now, it was the msot intensely passionate relationship I've ever been in so I have a little insight into the condition. She wasn't diagnosed then but I suspected she had BPD. I'm usually up in the early hours even though I think your in a different time zone, I'm here to talk anytime.

I will tell you this though it took me a few years of meditation to start to break the Paranoid responses and thoughts and I couldn't do it without meds, however, the results were worth it.
Thank you, that's very kind.
I'm glad the medication and the meditation helped you. Yeah, I can imagine it must have taken a hell of a lot of time and patience. I am not sure I am patient enough.
I've done kinds of meditation from youtube videos a few times, but not regularly at all. To be honest, it kind of scares me a bit, because I know how crazy I can get and the ideas I can start having. Meditating kind of seems like going to a different realm almost
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
Meditation teaches you patience, I'm the most impatient person I know, trust me, ask my ex! Lol. It can be a bit scary sometimes some of the shit your mind can throw at you.
 
Parayana

Parayana

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Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
Weird thing is when I was internally chanting Nembutsu earlier my Tardive Dyskenesia stopped which hasn't happened with Anapanasati for ages.
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
Even to define it as existing or not existing is still trying to define what is beyond definition. It is as it is, suchness as they say in Zen.
 
Parayana

Parayana

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Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
Beyond both existence and non-existence is the me that is not me.
 
Parayana

Parayana

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
2,389
I think I have the stink of Zen about me.
 
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