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Dad not being rational

J

jdohe

Active member
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
42
Today, my dad had two irrational incidences.

First, early in the day, he stepped in some dog poo in the hallway. The poo was there becausethe the girl keeps letting the dogs into all areas of the house where they are not supposed to be and leaving them there. Anyway, he has me clean up the poo, and to add extra drama to it he tells me his is beginning to get the feeling that he doesn't want to live anymore. I suspect that might be a side-effect of his use of paxil.

Later in the day, the smoke alarm in the house went off. The smoke alarm is obviously defective and it is over 25 years old. My dad got all upset and said "I wonder if there really is a fire in the house". He said this as we are both standing there looking at the fire detector, and there is no smoke around. I asked him how he thought the fire detector could magically detect an unseen fire with no smoke and he had no response other than that I had moved the spice rack too close to the window and that ants would come through the window to get them. He tries to blame me for every thing that goes on no matter how ridiculous. Last week he pointed out a tiny clear bump of dried glue on a counter and said that I had done that 10 years ago and it was impossible to remove. I applied pressure to the glue with the flat part of a spoon and that glue broke away from the counter without leaving any mark. What is remarkable is that he remembered this glue for 10 years and made no attempt to remove it. I was able to remove it in 15 seconds. Rather than remove it, he kept it there as a memorial of something I did. Another classic example of that was with a toaster. A toaster had broken because the heating element within it had snapped. It resulted in one side of toast coming out raw while other side was burnt. I offered to try and fix it and soldered the broken element back together. That worked great for about 2 weeks, but then the element broke again. Eight years later I find the broken useless toaster in the garage with a note on it that said my name and that I had broken it and the date that it was broken. Why save a totally useless toaster for 8 years? Why put a note on it like that? I don't know how to deal with something so irrational.

:(
 
schiz01

schiz01

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
721
Location
Australia
Gosh if it wasn't so serious it would be funny...the toaster really got me ...kind of like something you would see on some comedy show.
God knows his reasoning behind it all but its safe to say its very irrational indeed
I don't know what advice to give you except not to take it to heart
 
J

jdohe

Active member
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
42
Seinfeld

Gosh if it wasn't so serious it would be funny...the toaster really got me ...kind of like something you would see on some comedy show.
God knows his reasoning behind it all but its safe to say its very irrational indeed
I don't know what advice to give you except not to take it to heart
Yeah, it does kind of sound like something that would happen on Seinfeld.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
I think usually what appears to be irrational to others can often be explained with some sort of rationality by the person doing it. If you know them well enough and their background, history, situation you can often come to understand why they do what they do.

Have you tried asking him?
 
J

jdohe

Active member
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
42
I think usually what appears to be irrational to others can often be explained with some sort of rationality by the person doing it. If you know them well enough and their background, history, situation you can often come to understand why they do what they do.

Have you tried asking him?
Oh, I know how my dad's mind works and doesn't work. Lately he has been getting considerably more irrational. In many ways, he is easier to get along with when he is irrational! That is not a healthy situation though.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
You did say that you have been living away from your dad for quite some time. Perhaps there is a possibility that you don't know how his mind works now. Maybe it is worth asking him in case there is a reason you hadn't thought of.

Also is your dad of a senior age? It may be an early sign of dementia. Perhaps he put the label on the toaster so that he could remind himself of why it is there. That is not an unusual or irrational thing for people to do of any age. I write notes if I think I may forget something. However it could also indicate some memory problems?

I don't think using the word 'irrational' to explain your father behaviour is neccessarily helpful to you being able to help him. Maybe trying to understand why he is doing things, and seeing his perspective will enable you to help him more, in many ways.

Just a thought.
 
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