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Cycling Through Moods

valleygirl

valleygirl

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Feel like I am on a Ferris wheel that is going too fast. I hate this cycling through fear, anxiety, depression, despair, suicidal ideation, elation, agitation, anxiety, depression....Does this ever end?
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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Sometimes I feel so alive, so together, but then "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold." The feeling of being alive becomes feeling like I am on fire, and not in a good way. I feel fear and anxiety burning me up inside.
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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Sometimes I feel so alive, so together, but then "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold." The feeling of being alive becomes feeling like I am on fire, and not in a good way. I feel fear and anxiety burning me up inside.
For me, it can be helpful to think of opposite colours to those which produce the fire, fear and anxiety.
 
blueflames

blueflames

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They will edit your post because you can't be that explicit hunny.

Why are you self harming?? Your emotions spinning out of control a bit?? Don't SH again, talk to me instead?? please?? xx
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I don't really know why. I mean specifically tonight, what triggered it. I've been under a lot of stress. Afraid I won't succeed. Afraid that when I am done college that I won't find a good job. Afraid I will always be a failure. I just felt like I needed to see the self harm. It calmed me for a bit, but I feel like I need to do more.
 
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confusedwanderwaffle

confusedwanderwaffle

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What calms you? if you dont know

For future reference figure out what calms you (don't know if your same as me but I like to go outside to calm myself) and remember to do them things when this situation arises

or I found out that distractions are very effective (i.e games, music, talking to us on the internet forum:) when I am bouncing from one mood to another...but strangely music can exacerbate the situation..or that's just me.

remember to distract yourself or have a note or piece of paper in your room with some kind of reminder on it or phonenumber that can help you out
 
katya

katya

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I don't really know why. I mean specifically tonight, what triggered it. I've been under a lot of stress. Afraid I won't succeed. Afraid that when I am done college that I won't find a good job. Afraid I will always be a failure. I just felt like I needed to see the self harm. It calmed me for a bit, but I feel like I need to do more.
That is a lot to think about all at once. Please try to practice a bit of mindfulness in your daily life and try not to think about the 'bigger picture' too much; you'll stress yourself out. Just set clear, short-term goals for long-term things you want to achieve, and try not to let it all pile on top of you at once. I know it's hard. So sorry you're feeling this down.
 
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valleygirl

valleygirl

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I did it 16 times, but none of them are serious. I've never done this so close to summer. I have an appointment with my counsellor later today, but I am afraid to tell her what I did.
 
H

Helena1

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Why are you scared to tell her?
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I am scared she will tell me that I need to go to the hospital, and I can't do that. I have an exam on Saturday.
 
H

Helena1

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They are not going to say go to the hospital for minor self harm alone.
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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About a month ago I had to go to the hospital emergency room because of anxiety. My counsellor told me I had to go because I was shaking and couldn't answer her questions because my thoughts were running so fast inside my head.
 
H

Helena1

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Where are you from?
I think it will be fine. Maybe if she thinks you are high likelihood of suicide then she could suggest you go in.
 
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