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Cycles of Abuse: The neverending story: When does it end? Trigger warning

TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2019
Messages
563
Location
On The Train
So my father molested me and my sister. His father was awful towards him and beat him, therefore it makes it ok (?!?) to molest his daughters. Umm... I don't understand that, but I don't have an advanced degree. Anyway, my sister and I went on to marry and divorce abusive men. I have finally met a very wonderful man, who is totally understanding about it all it seems. But I still drink. I still have nightmares. What happens now?
 
Luci

Luci

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
Messages
572
Location
England
I'm sorry to hear of your past suffering 💖 it will 'end' when you realise you are safe and free to be happy :) the nightmares may never go away entirely, but that's all they are, bad memories in your head. You have the power to control your life when you are awake, you can make new, happy memories and reduce your suffering with love and support 💖 drinking may help for a short while but it won't long term, it will only feed into your low mood. Try and make little changes daily, eat something that is good for you and you enjoy, go for a walk, speak to your friends and family, pamper yourself and remember you are beautiful and strong. I know it's so difficult sometimes but you aren't alone, we are all here for you xx
 
C

Cornflowerblue

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
22
Location
UK
You have the power never to let it happen to your children if you have them or intend to have them. You have the power to acknowledge what happened and make sure it never happens again. You have the power to help someone else going through trauma if nobody helped you.
 
C

Coolname

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
587
Location
UK
So my father molested me and my sister. His father was awful towards him and beat him, therefore it makes it ok (?!?) to molest his daughters. Umm... I don't understand that, but I don't have an advanced degree. Anyway, my sister and I went on to marry and divorce abusive men. I have finally met a very wonderful man, who is totally understanding about it all it seems. But I still drink. I still have nightmares. What happens now?
Hi

I'm sorry to hear what you went through. There is a difference between a reason and an excuse. Identifying a cause behind your father's behaviour does not excuse it. He made a choice.

I'm glad to hear you have broken the cycle of destructive relationships. That suggests to me that you have it in you to break other destructive behaviours. Well done and good luck with your next steps.
 
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