why when in a ind on off on

manic depressed state do you feel like hurting your self , its like a complustion it goes on and on at me to cut my self under neath my breasts? i havent but its like the need to breathe i have my first phscy appointment in 1 hour, i had a bad psychotic do and got taken in but im home now under crisis team and on valium, i haven't taken them today cause all it does is make me tired and calm but doesnt last so whats the point? should i tell the man today, if i do will he take me in? i dont want to go back there. i feel so manic right now but down how can i get theses cut thoughts out of my mind,?
The first thing that spang to my mind is, go for a walk in the woods,it`ll do wonders for you mind and body, take the time to take in what you see around you, when you see a tree,picture it being like seed and then growing to the size it is, also try and listen for birds.
But if you can`t do that try and get somewhere in the quite away from the 21st hussle and bussle where there`s animal(though you don`t need to) and just sit in the quite and breather deeply,feeling the oxygen fill your lungs.
I personally find the fumes of vehicles and fag smoke is what makes me feel depressed and fed up.
If you can`t do the above go on youtube and find some meditation/buddhist music, and just meditate.
Good luck.
P.S you could always try weightlifting or hitting a pillow, or what i did the other day was get a book and i hit myself on the head as hard as possible.lol my god did it work wonders

it`s not as harmful as cutting yourself and you get that anger out.