Crying Out For Help

[Despair]

Hi All

My head is a mess. I have thoughts of suicide and self harm, I don't seem able to pull myself up from the dark pit I am in. I have seen my GP who has put me on various meds to calm me down. I am crying out for help and have seen a counceller twice but can not afford to do it again. I feel i want locking up where i can talk to someone every day and be with people. I can not cope when alone. I feel great when i have spoke to the doctor or councellor but it is not long before i drop off the edge again. I want to be refered for treatment but don't know if i can wait to see someone..what can i do i need help now and getting to the point of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up................

 

[emski]

Hi Despair,

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time of it. It is really positive that you have sought out this forum and have had the strength to post. You will find lots of support here, it's a friendly place.

Is your GP aware of your suicidal thoughts? If they know it is irresponsible that you have not been offered counselling on the NHS, or the support of your local Community Mental Health Team.

I suggest you see your GP as soon as possible and ask to be referred for further support - slinging meds at you is clearly not helping you - be firm about what your wishes for treatment and needs are.

If you need to talk to someone straight away see the getting help page on the forum http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/getting-help the numbers for Samaritans and NHS Direct are there.

 

[Despair]

Thanks for the reply.. I need to push my GP..I don't know how long i can wait to see someone.. I am scared for me and my family..An eveny recently kicked me right off and awwoke things from my past i had locked away. I am so scared, I imagine situations that are not there, I hear voices and argue with myself..I can't be alone so i continue to got to work but i fear my work is slipping...noone seems to understand mental health issues..i sometimes think no one believes me and by throwing meds at me it will just get better overtime i am on a combination of Citalopram and Chlorpromazine..

 

[honeyquince]

If things get really bad you can either turn up at your GP's surgery (in surgery hours) or go to A&E where they will get a psychiatrist to assess you and consider you for admission to a psychiatric ward. Bare in mind that treatment on a psychiatric ward is more often pharmaceutical than talking therapy, they are however pretty safe places to be when all else falls away.

Take care,
Honey, xx

 

[emski]

You're welcome. It really sounds like you're struggling. If you can't wait to get an appointment with your GP and you still feel suicidal you can call NHS and see what emergency help is available in your area. They will most likely suggest self-presenting at your local A&E. If you think you would feel better by just talking to someone on the phone, try the Samaritans. Otherwise, keep posting here - I find just writing my thoughts down here very therapeutic in itself.

 

[Despair]

I find that talking helps, thats why i want to be with people, my wife understands but i fear that she is at her wits end, she can't understand why i am so down, I want to understand why i hate myself so much but a mixture of fear and paranoia stops me opening right up. I am scared that if i get committed to a ward then what will happern to my job, my world is close to falling apart and I have no where to go .......

 

[GrizzlyBear]

You don't have to be committed. You can go into hospital voluntarily. Get a sick note and take time off work. What use would your job be if you were dead?

If talking is what you need (it is for me) then hospital may only be useful at keeping you safe until you get a CPN and/or psychologist.

 

[KP1]

Keeping safe in a crisis is the main thing. I have gone to hospital voluntarily three times in this situation and I have been back home in a week each time. I can't say its a pleasant experience but it does save lives when people are suicidal and it does help you access futher support.
KP