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crying, bursting into tears

Brimble

Brimble

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
20
Location
Essex
Hi all

I know many of us suffer from bouts of crying but recently I can't stop. At least 5 times a day for the past two weeks. I have a chest infection too.

I am off to a service at Westminster Cathedral on Saturday to remember victims of C-diff (a hospital acquired infection) including my mother who died aged 66 five years ago, so maybe this is the trigger?. I watched my mother die very slowly without any pain relief and sometimes, no matter how hard I try, the image of her last hours pops into my head and I cry. Sometimes just one tear and at other times a slowly building flood rushes down my cheeks.

I wish I had one of those Burka things so I could hide this away.

I can't stop the tears. I feel sick, can't eat or sleep, can't even construct a sentence properly today. Is this a situational type of depression? or is it something chemically induced in the brain? Whatever it is there is no let up from it this week. I have to be careful who I talk to otherwise I'm off again.

I woke up crying at 6 am this morning. Life pans out like an endurance test and I neither want to stay or go. Stuck in an emotional no mans land, missing my mother and feeling responsible for letting her die that way.

More generally depression and crying seem to go hand in hand and my eyes are sore. I see my GP on Monday so it isn't as if I am utterly alone with this but try as I might I cannot counter the tear attack. My husband has grown weary of it but after all our years together - teens to 40s- he is still here. He spends much time in on-line war games and I study around the corner on my PC, sometimes we don't talk at all, but he remains my dearest friend.

Back to work next week and those smiling little faces pull me together. But today, this week, this hour I feel the most miserable person on the earth.

Sorry to moan - can't even type properly today but just wanted to reach out and say something to someone somewhere.

I am off again, a slow dribble down the cheek now, but thanks Mental Health Forum for this space to squeak.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Hi Brimble, i'm sorry to hear what your going through.

I would have a heart to heart with the GP as soon as possible and I wouldn't leave without a prescription.
 
Brimble

Brimble

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
20
Location
Essex
Thanks Twylight. Wretched thing I am today but tomorrow who knows? I find the lack of sleep compounds the depression. My GP is like a brainy little brother so no fear of him not understanding.

On a more trivial note I have been lifted by AFC's goals tonight. Must write to the manager for more!! :clap: Funny how some things lift you up and other rotten things - like a senseless stabbing - bring you down.

Thank you though from the bottom of my heart!
 
Brimble

Brimble

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
20
Location
Essex
I spoke too soon regards being lifted by a few goals. We now have a draw - essentially it is just a game eh? Can throw your emotions though.

Sometimes a bit of music, a good read or someone defeating the odds can break through the depression and lift your spirits so you feel good to be alive.

I swing through moods and hide the effects of this for the mostpart but inside the highs and lows wear away at your soul and tire you out! Nice to pop in here and read how others deal with it.
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
hi brimble :)
sorry too hear your feeling so bad :hug: the cause of your crying and feeling low could be down to grief over your mother and/or a chemical imbalance... just let everything out and dont hold back when you see your gp is all i can say and maybe try (grief) councelling too if your given any meds!
yeah anything can throw your moods out - ive been yo-yo-ing up and down for a couple of months :unsure: not nice at all!
stay safe and take care :flowers:
 
silly madam

silly madam

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 22, 2008
Messages
645
Location
Wiltshire
Hi Brimbe,

Really sorry to hear you feel all over the place. There are a lot us out there you know. Definitely go to your gp and keep posting on here too. This forum is a great place for support as we all know what we are going through in one way or another.
Good luck with everything and hope to see you on here again soon. :flowers::hug:
 
D

deadpoet79

Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2008
Messages
7
sounds like you probably cry the tears i can't, or won't maybe...anyway, i'm sorry to hear what you're going through. it might very well have something to do with your mum and the memorial that is coming up. the memorial itself may actually bring a sense of closure and relief. kind of like a day to remember then another to forget.
 
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