Wednesday was a really bad day for me. I managed to sleep through a lot of it, which probably kept me alive. My ability to sleep all night, all the next day (bar 3 hours) and all the next night is astounding.
Thursday was a tiny bit better, until I realised my housemate was about to go away for the weekend. As soon as I was alone, I started to breakdown again. I emailed the mental health team but as it was 16.30 I don't think they got it before they went home for the long weekend.
Today started well with a friend over but they left a few hours ago and I won't be seeing anyone now until tuesday. I am rapidly going downhill.
I have always had someone here to keep me safe and calm me down when in crisis. Never used the crisis team before, always waited for my appointments and suffered in silence. When I am ill I cannont talk, using a phone just is not possible. Apart from the one email I found there are no others...all the crisis info says to ring, but it also says you need to be refered to the service. I can't get a gp appointment until 20th.
I am not sure what to do....I am just about ok right now. Trying to focus on the tv and computer but I don't know how long it will last. I have no medication to calm me down.
Right now I could drive to the hospital but I am not ill enough in my opinion to waste their time. If I loose control as I feel is happening, I cannot drive.
and if i go to hospital now and they want to keep me in then what happens to my cats and the car parked outside the hospital.
I am so confused and don't know how to deal with this. My carer has always sorted everything before....now im alone...