Crashed back to earth..

[Colin76]

Well i have crashed back to earth with an almighty bump and fallen back into a bloody depression. I heve been hypomanic the past three weeks but have managed to control it pretty well, the first week was hell as i was only sleeping on average 2 hours per night but i adjusted the meds on my g.p's advice and got things under a certain level of control. Now i feel like hell in a shoping basket, sleeping 16 hours a day - if i'm not sleeping i'm just laying in bed in a dark room only getting up to use the loo, not giving a damn about life, hardly eating, self harming to control the anger and negative emotions, not caring if i live or die - hell i've even begun to plan how to end it. Basically my head is pretty f**ked up right now. I'm still taking the meds as normal though. I am seeing my key worker/care co-ordinator tomorrow afternoon and i have kept a mood diary of the past three weeks to show her i'm not pulling her chain when i say i'm suicidal with suicidal ideations going through my mind.

I'm not looking for sympaphy, i just needed to get this of my chest for a while.

 

[scooby1001]

Make sure you tell your cpn and pdoc exactly how you are feeling. They should listen to you. I personally have found quertipine good for depression as i am not allowed AntiD's as they send me manic. Either you have not been on the medication long enough to be 100% efficient or it needs to be changed to something different.

 

[TOONAFISH]

Hiya, sorry to here your feeling so low. It is hard as hell when you are feeling at the bottom like this. I personally feel it helps to talk to others and if it helps you too, then do it. Def tell your mental health team how you are feeling. Is there stuff you like to watch on tv that would cheer you up a bit? I am slowly coming away from where you are, so it can be done, hope that gives you a little bit of hope. here if you want to chat

 

[Colin76]

Hi Toonafish & scoobie,

Although feeling like complete s**t i'm still trying to carry on as normal as i can (well we have to really). I have a book at home i'm going to attempt to read tonight called chicken soup for the soul its 101 feel good stories. To be honest i'm not going to hold anything back tomorrow.

 

[TOONAFISH]

Chicken soup for the soul is a great book , there are a few of them and i read a lot of them when i was down. Made me cry, but made me feel better too. Good that you are trying to keep doing things. It doesnt feel like it at the time, but i suppose it does us good eh.

 

[Colin76]

One thing that was recomended to me was to excecise no matter how you are feeling, even if its just a short walk, anything to increase the feel good chemicals in the brain.

 

[TOONAFISH]

Yeh, walking is good. especially on a nice day. right better get the tea on oops.

 

[Colin76]

Feeling horrible today but staying positive and managing to laugh now and then. Brother in law phoned thursday asking for help - part of the plaster on the kids bedroom wall collapsed, thought how can i say no to getting out of the house for the afternoon (was bored sh*tless anyway, not even the xbox360 could bring some releif), so i spent some time having a giggle while stripping paint of the bedroom door with a heat gun.