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CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) vs BPD?

tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
I have CPTSD. I could have gotten over my parent's shit but other things happened, one right after the other. I only got that diagnosis recently but I already knew, whether the professionals did or not, that I had PTSD. And I think it is behind a lot of my symptoms rather than just anxiety. My parents are elderly. Mom is terminally ill. My dad is becoming quite an asshole. Last visit and it is long distance was so ugly that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am just so done with them. I tried my best for decades, thought it was working but found out at that visit that I had wasted my time. I will be the scapegoat...but that isn't new really. It is sad but I do not feel guilty. How can you lose what you never really had? There is a guy that has a series on you tube about narcisstic parents that has helped us so much. He goes by Narcissim (sp?) Survivor. I highly recommend it.
 
BleachedViolet

BleachedViolet

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Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
1,266
Location
Light from a dead star...
I have CPTSD. I could have gotten over my parent's shit but other things happened, one right after the other. I only got that diagnosis recently but I already knew, whether the professionals did or not, that I had PTSD. And I think it is behind a lot of my symptoms rather than just anxiety. My parents are elderly. Mom is terminally ill. My dad is becoming quite an asshole. Last visit and it is long distance was so ugly that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am just so done with them. I tried my best for decades, thought it was working but found out at that visit that I had wasted my time. I will be the scapegoat...but that isn't new really. It is sad but I do not feel guilty. How can you lose what you never really had? There is a guy that has a series on you tube about narcisstic parents that has helped us so much. He goes by Narcissim (sp?) Survivor. I highly recommend it.
You make a lot of excellent points - especially "how can you lose what you never really had?" - sad, but relatable.

Thank you for sharing, and it breaks my heart reading and reliving things like this. I thought I had "crossed the hump", so to speak, but have had recent triggers. My mom's in the hospital and my dad's been calling nightly. He's lonely and I feel for him. He's a good man. But idk if it's age or just his temperament - he wont hear a negative word spoken about her. Now isn't appropriate, fine.

But idk how I can have a normal relationship with them - not that it's ever been "normal". Especially when they don't approve of my partner - although it's okay for my brother to marry and have children with a manipulative narcissist himself. He has his yuppie job, fits the mold.

I don't... I'm the square peg, and j think they need me to be that so they can avoid their own issues... they say they "understand" me, but haven't a clue who I am...

The proverbial "scapegoat", like you said...

I'll stop before I go off lol but thank you for sharing and bless you.

I'll be sure to look up/sub that YT channel. I've been watching those a lot lately. It's like a game of tetris, the peices are beginning to fit...

Thank you again for your perspective and help. At least we all have each other, right? :hug: xx
 
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