I can relate to the triggering. The sound of her voice makes me tense up, even over the phone.Totally agree easily triggered, gosh if I see someone who resembles my mother, my rational brain knows its not her. My emotional part starts to react I tense up, start to feel agitated ..incredible really
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experiences with me. You've been through hell and deserve freedom and peace.Yes it is part of a huge journey, it's hard to let go, as you are clearly a caring sensitive person who thinks of others.
You do need to put your needs first do what's right for your mental health wellbeing. Its bloody hard as a caring person to come to the point actually that's it, when you can't take anymore.
You make a lot of excellent points - especially "how can you lose what you never really had?" - sad, but relatable.I have CPTSD. I could have gotten over my parent's shit but other things happened, one right after the other. I only got that diagnosis recently but I already knew, whether the professionals did or not, that I had PTSD. And I think it is behind a lot of my symptoms rather than just anxiety. My parents are elderly. Mom is terminally ill. My dad is becoming quite an asshole. Last visit and it is long distance was so ugly that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am just so done with them. I tried my best for decades, thought it was working but found out at that visit that I had wasted my time. I will be the scapegoat...but that isn't new really. It is sad but I do not feel guilty. How can you lose what you never really had? There is a guy that has a series on you tube about narcisstic parents that has helped us so much. He goes by Narcissim (sp?) Survivor. I highly recommend it.