CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) vs BPD?

BleachedViolet

BleachedViolet

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Hello everyone,

I read something interesting this morning regarding CPTSD - which differs from regular PTSD as in it results from *prolonged* or *continued* trauma, such as growing up with a narcissistic parent and thus suffering years of emotional abuse as a result of this (as I and I'm sure many others here have unfortunately endured or are still, in some regards, enduring...). The comment simply said that it's not uncommon for some BPD's to be misdiagnosed as such, and are in some cases actually dealing with CPTSD.

I had never heard that term before, though it makes sense (the concept, I mean...) I'm in the process of searching for a good therapist atm, and found this info useful - particularly as I was misdiagnosed Bipolar II for nearly 2 decades...

I didn't want to admit this, but I was never formally diagnosed BPD. I *always* knew the Bipolar diagnosis was "off"/didn't fit - particularly as I've never had one manic episode. This was also validated a few years ago (that I'm NOT Bipolar), when I was back in the US - though my family still scoff at it and I think "need" for *me* to be the "crazy one"...

I do, however, possess many "borderline" traits, particularly a shattering fear of abandonment, feelings of emptiness, rapid cycling while stressed, impulsivity, etc...

I know self-diagnos is harmful/not a good idea, but the health care where I live is very antiquated/old school and I don't wish to deal with my family while sorting myself out. A few people reading may be aware that I've been dealing with a lot at home, too...

*I just wanted to be honest - I hope i haven't offended anyone or that I won't be judged to negatively for this.... Apologies in advance if I have...*

I received a referral to a supposedly good psychologist, and with any luck, will try to set something up for next week...


I was just curious as to anyone's thoughts or experiences regarding this, personally or otherwise? Can anyone relate to this or see a correlation? Has anyone heard of this before?

Thank you in advance, and bless you... xx
 
Flameheart

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ive heard both are very similar, but if you have symptoms more on the borderline side then that's what you get diagnosed with
 
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Confusedandanxious

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The symptoms for both are so similar to each other. I was diagnosed bpd but it was discussed that I fit more with the cptsd.
I do still fit the criteria for bpd though so I dont know if the diagnosis would be both. I couldn't even disagree with it. I disagree with classic bpd, but quiet bpd I couldn't argue with as I can relate so much to it.

It hasn't affected my treatment. They're just dealing with my anxiety since it's the main issue. I'll be starting trauma therapy soon too.
 
BleachedViolet

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Thanks for the input so far @BPDevil & @Confusedandanxious - I'm sure the diagnoses are comorbid/coexistent in many ways. I don't see how they couldn't be interlocked...

And, like you pointed out, @Confusedandanxious, there's a spectrum. I just am anxious about starting therapy here and hope this doc is good. I had a really special relationship with my last therapist back in the US, but seeing her via Skype or whatever would no longer be covered by my insurance and I would no longer be able to afford it...

Like, they recently accused me of being "unsupportive" of my husband for having him hospitalized here?! Wtf? Am I supposed to wait until he self harms again or he goes missing? He's hearing voices and I'm not equipped to care for him 24/7, let alone myself...

That's the mentality I'm dealing with atm...

Anyway, sorry to go off, I just want to be prepared and I finally have a bit of space to work things out in my head but it's making me very anxious...

Good luck with your treatment, @Confusedandanxious :hug:
 
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Confusedandanxious

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Wow that is shocking how they say you're unsupportive. Helping him get admitted is very supportive. You easily could have left him to his own devices! Dont listen to them. Obviously doctors agreed with you, otherwise he would never have been admitted.

Fingers crossed you develop a special relationship with your new therapist and get the help you need and deserve.

Thank you. Good luck to you too
 
BleachedViolet

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Wow that is shocking how they say you're unsupportive. Helping him get admitted is very supportive. You easily could have left him to his own devices! Dont listen to them. Obviously doctors agreed with you, otherwise he would never have been admitted.

Fingers crossed you develop a special relationship with your new therapist and get the help you need and deserve.

Thank you. Good luck to you too
Thank you, sweetheart :hug: I mean it, I appreciate your kind words xx

It's a bIt crazy over here (no pun intended!)

Keep us posted on how it's going xx and I'll do the same...
 
megirl

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Apparently I dont fit the criteria for BPD anymore. That's from my psychologist, who is employed by the mental health outpatient unit. We I have to say my psychiatrist diagnosed me. And as far as health professionals go, I would certainly leave that for my psychiatrist to get into a discussion with her, about this.
 
BleachedViolet

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Thanks for the input so far @BPDevil & @Confusedandanxious - I'm sure the diagnoses are comorbid/coexistent in many ways. I don't see how they couldn't be interlocked...

And, like you pointed out, @Confusedandanxious, there's a spectrum. I just am anxious about starting therapy here and hope this doc is good. I had a really special relationship with my last therapist back in the US, but seeing her via Skype or whatever would no longer be covered by my insurance and I would no longer be able to afford it...

Like, they recently accused me of being "unsupportive" of my husband for having him hospitalized here?! Wtf? Am I supposed to wait until he self harms again or he goes missing? He's hearing voices and I'm not equipped to care for him 24/7, let alone myself...

That's the mentality I'm dealing with atm...

Anyway, sorry to go off, I just want to be prepared and I finally have a bit of space to work things out in my head but it's making me very anxious...

Good luck with your treatment, @Confusedandanxious :hug:
Apparently I dont fit the criteria for BPD anymore. That's from my psychologist, who is employed by the mental health outpatient unit. We I have to say my psychiatrist diagnosed me. And as far as health professionals go, I would certainly leave that for my psychiatrist to get into a discussion with her, about this.
I was just curious... that's all...
 
megirl

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Yes, it is interesting. I havnt seen my mother over 2 years. I havnt had any nightmares about her for at least one year. I mentioned on mothers day to a friend wouldn't it be amazing to have a pleasant relationship with my mother. That's pretty much all I said no further discussion consciously I carried on with my day without a thought of her.
Felt like shit the next day as nightmares most of the night. Must be a trauma related response??
 
megirl

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Interesting if I planned to see her the next day night before nightmares, night afterwards my nightmares would occur again.
So yeh reading about cptsd made me think. One thing I found as a child kept me going in gave me so much strength was I used to think 'I will never ever be like her'
 
BleachedViolet

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It's very complicated, isn't it?

It sounds like you've made some solid progress, though. I thought I had, but it's one step forward, two back (for me, at least...)

I thought I had made peace, but idk anymore... I did the whole "forgive her on my terms because she'll never acknowledge the abuse herself" thing, but I literally feel my pulse escalate at the thought of her at times.

My father is a very sweet man, but he has it in his head we're (me & my mom) super close (he travelled...a lot... when I was young) and I let him believe it.

I dont like hurting people so I just go along with this farce but I dont think it's helpful or healing. I have to be the martyr - the "crazy one" - bc no one else in my family can admit to having flaws. I'm the living embodiment of all theirs...

My husband has seen the dynamic and believes me.

Part of me feels guilty for living so separately from them. They're elderly now and I dont want to have regrets, but they being out the absolute ugliest, worst side of me...

If you dont mind my asking, @megirl do you feel guilty ever or is a "clean break" the only/best way?
 
BleachedViolet

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Interesting if I planned to see her the next day night before nightmares, night afterwards my nightmares would occur again.
So yeh reading about cptsd made me think. One thing I found as a child kept me going in gave me so much strength was I used to think 'I will never ever be like her'
I used to think the same. Little wonder I never had kids. I wanted them, but I couldn't risk perpetuating the cycle of abuse...
 
megirl

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Isn't that sad though. I was exactly the same, re having kids. A huge fear of continuing any type of that behaviour. So no I never had them.
 
BleachedViolet

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Isn't that sad though. I was exactly the same, re having kids. A huge fear of continuing any type of that behaviour. So no I never had them.
I felt it was the most responsible thing to do. I know others may see it as a "cop out", but both my husband and I come from abuse and/or neglect - it was too big a risk, you know?

Only you know yourself, truly. As I know myself. And only we can understand and be at peace with our decisions. I understand where you're coming from. :hug:
 
megirl

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As for a clean break the guilt, its hard I used to take my mother here and there she doesn't drive. Shout her out for lunch coffee. Spend money on her. I got nothing in return.
Well anyway I had a serious car accident the car rolled..etc..fractured and dislocated my neck, 2 operations, complications after complication (to me it didn't matter too much, I was alive and not paralysed..unstable fracture very very lucky..7 weeks in hospital, a feeding tube. I went home full upper body brace for 3 months unable to walk...anyway my mother came around once I was home and never once asked how I was, never asked what or how it happened. Never asked why do I have this full body brave on, feeding tube...
It was %100 about her..
 
megirl

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I had too exclude her from my life. Once I did people in my life (support workers nurses in the inpatient unit and most my friends, of course my husband) were so relieved I made the decision. My psychiatrist truthfully she was absolutely delighted. Finally. There's no guilt anymore
 
megirl

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Even my dog who loves everyone would shy away from her. Which was something I still can't quite work out.
Hes very intuitive
 
BleachedViolet

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As for a clean break the guilt, its hard I used to take my mother here and there she doesn't drive. Shout her out for lunch coffee. Spend money on her. I got nothing in return.
Well anyway I had a serious car accident the car rolled..etc..fractured and dislocated my neck, 2 operations, complications after complication (to me it didn't matter too much, I was alive and not paralysed..unstable fracture very very lucky..7 weeks in hospital, a feeding tube. I went home full upper body brace for 3 months unable to walk...anyway my mother came around once I was home and never once asked how I was, never asked what or how it happened. Never asked why do I have this full body brave on, feeding tube...
It was %100 about her..
Jesus christ! That must've been the mother of all slaps in the face!

God...

Yeah you have to look out for yourself. They say time heals, but that all depends on what the reality you return to offers up...

I'm just so sorry. I wish I had better words, but all you can do atm us focus on healing and DON'T feel guilt. Who knows what that means regarding the future but that's neither here nor there atm... dont even worry about that now.

I know it sounds corny or trite, but one day at a time...

Let the rest, the stones, so to speak, fall where they may... focus on you bc she isn't atm... (I didn't mean that in a nasty way, just as a validation for self preservation...)
 
BleachedViolet

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I had too exclude her from my life. Once I did people in my life (support workers nurses in the inpatient unit and most my friends, of course my husband) were so relieved I made the decision. My psychiatrist truthfully she was absolutely delighted. Finally. There's no guilt anymore
GOOD!!!

:grouphug:

She's no longer a weight for you to carry...

And that's her cross to bear, that she lost the *privilege* of having you in her life...

And animals are insanely intuitive. That speaks volumes... xx
 
megirl

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No my mother can never ever be in my life ever again,
 
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