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court case

V

Viktoria

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Nearly two weeks ago I finally agreed to take zyprexa (depot) but the psychiatrist still hasn't seen me and prescribed it. He has been on annual leave with no one taking over his duties. My dad is angry saying that for me to agree to take zyprexa is a huge step and very complex making the voices especially Becky far louder. The psychiatrist was back today but hasn't come to see me. If I'd started it the day I agreed I would've been discharged by now.
Also there is no treatment. The ECT specialist says my psychologist should give me EMDR and my psychologist says I should get ECT.
My psychologist said today 'after our meeting where you agreed to take zyprexa you spoke to the psychiatrist'. I actually have an email that states that he wouldn't be there that day or the following week.
They said I'd speak to him last Wednesday but he wasn't present and they told me to speak with the GP but he refused to prescribe.

This is only half the story. My dad is taking my psychologist, psychiatrist and ECT specialist to court. He's already been in touch with a lawyer.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Hi Victoria.
Sorry to hear about this.
Hope it gets sorted out v soon for you.
It sounds very frustrating.
I'm glad you have the support of your dad in this.
Wishing you well.
Unique xx
 
V

Viktoria

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Thanks Unique.
I just got an email from the psychiatrist saying sorry that I didn't have time to write a prescription on November 20th. He's taken 150mg off of the clozapine and will discuss the rest with me tomorrow. Why not start a low dose of zyprexa straight away? It's so frustrating.
Everyone my dad has spoken to understands that this nearly two week wait is unbearable and difficult in many ways but the people that are treating me don't seem to understand.
I'm scared he's gonna start a low dose tomorrow and make me wait till next Wednesday to up it. He only speaks to patients on my ward on Wednesdays.
It's just all so f****ed up. Taking soooo long. I will put my foot down tomorrow to start the zyprexa and up the dose on Friday. That way I can hopefully be discharged next week after I've spoken to the hospital boss. It better not take ages to speak to her because once I've had a chat with her I should be discharged straight after. My psychologist said if the boss says you can go you can pack your bags and leave straight away.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Hiya.
I'm pleased you have heard.
I really hope it goes well for you tomorrow, I can understand your frustration.you have come a long way Victoria, and it's so good you have been able to make some decisions.

I'm wishing you well for tomorrow.
It's a hard slog, but you have come so far you can do it!
With all good wishes ..
Unique xx
 
V

Viktoria

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Thanks for your reply!
Becky especially is so fricking loud and angry it's taking its toll. I really can't put up with it any longer. You'd think a psychologist or psychiatrist would understand how hard it is. But no, they're taking their time to do everything at a slow pace. Time is money! Hello! I could've been gone ages ago and a new patient could've been underway with their so called 'intensive treatment'. Well it's called an intensive treatment hospital but all we do is ridiculous therapies; playing badminton during sports therapy or doing some colouring or the like in creative therapy. It really isn't improving mental health. It's just doing simple activities. Five months down the line and still no treatment causing me to just want to be discharged so bad because I'm fed up of being an inpatient. I think they'll be happy once they've gotten rid of me. As I'm challenging everything they do (or more importantly - DON'T do). And my dad is taking my side.

Well let's hope now I can say I'll really be discharged soon, a month ago I thought the same but once the zyprexa is effective I should finally be allowed to leave.
 
V

Viktoria

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Just spoke to the psychiatrist.
I feel like tearing this place down. I'm done with this. It's ridiculous.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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What did he say, will they not allow the med change? Sorry your so upset Victoria you've been doing so well, he must of really upset you. Was your dad with you in the meeting?
 
V

Viktoria

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he wants to do everything SLOWLY so the SOONEST i can be discharged is december 17th. he was ridiculous - yes my dad was present too - they were arguing. he just blames me for everything going in slowmotion but HE is the psychiatrist who is meant to make the wise choices. i'm to angry right now to go into detail, will post later or tomorrow. i am considering to run away and leave the country, i've got enough money and i can cross the border to belgium, germany or france without having to show ID.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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I'm glad your dad was there advocating for you, I can kinda see why they want the slow adjustment, just from my own families experiences with med changes, they want to monitor you closely for possible relapse, but I agree he should of started things before he took off on his holiday. I hope you can be out to spend Christmas with your family, if you try to run, you definately won't get out. They will deem it as irrational thinking and just keep you in longer.

I may end up fighting with a psychiatrist on JD's behalf today myself. Both his nurse and I feel he could still recover much better on another med, that there are better options available for him. Getting the psychiatrist to listen is a whole other matter because in his eye's JD is stable outside of hospital and functioning by paying bills. His voice is slurring now, and his ticks are worsening, and he is still delusional most of the time but in a harmless way. but has terrible impulse control problems and selfcare issues as well.

It will come Victoria, try to be patient and not do anything too rash. Love your dad to bits, he's really doing his best to help and unlike with Becky, they (the doctors)can hear him.
 
V

Viktoria

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Good luck Gajolene, I hope it goes well for you and your son.

I'm considering to have a court decide whether I should still be sectioned after about two months without any attempts or gestures.

My dad is great he's really trying and he's seeing whether I can go back to my previous hospital.

The psychiatrist is taking things slow not to be careful but just to 'follow procedures'. I read that clozapine and zyprexa CAN be prescribed together if it is closely monitored by a specialist.
He's gonna taper of 100mg every two days and then start the zyprexa upping if every two/three days. That can go quicker and also knowing how things work here he probably won't keep his word and forget to alter the prescriptions causing it to go slower still.

I've reached my limits I am so horribly angry st the moment and really trying everything to keep cool.

I could've seen another psychiatrist two weeks ago but only in case of emergency. Well put it this way - he hasn't idea how it works for me and that this IS an emergency as I am increasingly suicidal due to the voices.

He was blaming me for everything going slow because I wasn't honest apparently in the last couple of months. I've had seven months of clozapine even though it was obvious to everyone except my psychiatrist that it didn't work. I refused blood to be taken as I was scared of the dose being increased so that was my fault but it took him six weeks to force blood to be token and eventually up the dose still with zero result.

My psychiatrist in the previous hospital already planned to switch to zyprexa as it worked in the past but refrained because I was about you'd moved to this hospital and she hoped that they would follow her traces. But because I said zyprexa doesn't work (scared of losing Becky) he never switched even after listening to my dad. I've now made this horribly difficult choice with my head practically exploding but no, that's not an emergency. Maybe he realises it was when they find me dead. Or will that just be a risk they have to take?

I'm not planning on killing myself but part of me really wants to. My head is explosive and I cannot deal with this any longer.
 
V

Viktoria

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Gonna try getting discharged on a CTO maybe that works.
 
V

Viktoria

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I spoke to my psychologist in the hospital who has been on holiday for a couple of weeks. I told her how slow everything is progressing and she admitted that she had thought I'd be discharged before she came back. She was very empathetic and understanding and said she can understand why I'm behaving sort of recalcitrant towards staff and rules and everything. I said it's ridiculous, if you get back on the ward two minutes late you lose your right to leave the hospital for 24 hours! She laughed at that and said yeah some rules are sort of ridiculous.

Anyway my therapist e-mailed me quarter past seven this morning asking me to write a letter to the hospital boss, which she will do to, so that we can then plan a meeting with her. I bloody hope it won't take three weeks to speak to her!

Let's hope I'll be home before christmas.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Sounds like things are moving.
I'm glad the psychologist was helpful and understanding.
Fingers crossed things move swiftly for you.

I'm wishing you well and for things to move forward.
Unique xx
 
V

Viktoria

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I sent the email. I hope to speak to the hospital boss this coming week or the week after. She's apparently very busy especially this time of year and she is the boss of all the psychiatric services in the city (I live in a big city) so she must be mega busy!
I hope to at least hear when I'll see her on Monday or Tuesday.

Anyway on the plus side I'm at home tonight and tomorrow/Sunday. Have to sleep in the hospital tonight though cause you can't stay at home two consecutive nights.

Oh and I've been eating more healthy and lost weight this week which makes me happy. I haven't been restricting or purging or anything just ate less carbohydrates and it paid off. I've gained quite a bit since starting the Clozapine (and Zyprexa before that) and I really want to get back to my old weight. I'm not overweight but at the higher end of a healthy BMI.

I hope things are going to be looking up from now on. Monday I also hear if I'm gonna get the house that I really want. The estate agent phoned on Thursday that they'll let me know Monday so fingers crossed.
 
V

Viktoria

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I'm gonna speak to the hospital boss on Tuesday. She will decide whether or not I am ready to be discharged... My therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist are all okay with it but it's up to the boss. Have made notes for the meeting cause if I'm a bit nervous I'll forget to say things.
 
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