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counting calories

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george81

Active member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
25
Location
birmingham
hello everyone. I've started counting calories in what I eat and leaving out foods that I think have too many calories in. I feel guilty when I have too much to eat or too many calories and have self harmed this week. I had to go to a social event last week which involved a meal with lots of other people and I chose to have a meal as I didn't want to be the only one not eating, and found out afterwards that someone had made a comment about me 'wolfing down my food' and that I left a completely clean plate, which was not true as I left a fair bit but it's made me wary and adds weight to my beliefs that I'm greedy and like a greedy pig. I'm struggling as I can't seem to get past the weight I currently am and can't get below it. I'm weighing myself daily and the small fluctuations are making me angry. Sorry if this is triggering or if I've broken any rules and think you all for being so kind and taking the time to listen/read my drivel x
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
46,419
Location
Lancashire
I wonder if they said that because they were pleased to see you eat? What triggered this problem you have with food do you think? I know very little about eating disorders but I do understand other things that often go with it like depression and self harm.
 
G

george81

Active member
Joined
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
25
Location
birmingham
Thank you for your reply Calypso. To me it felt like I was being watched as I was eating and added to my own personal feelings that I'm a greedy pig and may be they thought that too. I know it sounds ridiculous! I've suffered with ongoing issues with depression and as long as I can remember had issues with loss of appetite during times of stress but my mom died very nearly a year ago quite unexpectantly and since then I have been starving myself/restricting food intake and have lost a considerable amount of weight. I also feel extreme guilt and this too leads to me feelings like I don't deserve to eat.
 
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