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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

couldnt have been more stupid.....good read if nothing else!!

A

Antonia25

Active member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
36
Location
Luton
i have to write this because im going insane..... im scared of what this is going to lead me to do....this may annoy some people...sorry if it does

i have been a complete idiot.....i actually couldnt think of ways to be any more stupid....

i have the mmost amazing husband in the world....better than anyone can actually imagine...much better than i know i truly deserve.....

brief history, im 25 got with him at 18.....married july 09...he was my first sexual partner...of late i have been diagnosed with depression and waiting for a second meeting with physciatrist...on tablets not working......

so since we married i had been having thoughts of feeling trapped, not knowing if rob was the one, thinking i needed sex woith other guys.....all this i realise i shud have thought before we married but somehow it was getting married that allowed me to think it or something.....

recently i have been chatting on adult websites, it seems to have become abit of an addicton... mostly just chatting, but occasionaly abit more.....like web and phone sex....
last weds it went a little further...i met a guy from these sites....it was safe we met in a service station talked and talked and it was great...... got on really well.....
on friday we met again and i cheated on my husband with him....... truth be told lust got the betteer of me and somehow i connected with him..... the txts after became less n less and claims he was busy etc..... i feel hurt cos now he dont txt or ring.....i just want to ask him why he played me...why he preteneded to be such a nice person. why he pretended to like me so much etc etc if i was just a lay.........

i feel so stupid.................... i got played........

my husband knows all this i had to tell him, thankfullly he is workiing through it and tells me he wont leave me

i dont know why im writing all this and not really sure what i expect from doing so. justt felt i needed to air it alll.......truth be told i needed to vent. im just scared cos i dont know how i feel, i feel like an idot for risking my marriage and i feel like an idiot for believeing this guy who clearly played me......i dont feel i deserve this life anymore...i just hurt myself and everyone around me so whats the point.....
 
emski

emski

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
1,151
Location
North West
Hate to say it like this hun, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but any guy who goes on adult websites and meets up with someone, isn't looking for anything more than sex.

You made a mistake that's all - everyone makes mistakes and you are in a vulnerable period of your life. You need to stop calling yourself an idiot. You have been really brave to tell your husband, and surely he understands that what happened was just a crisis of uncertainty where you made a bad decision. You know it was a mistake, so you just have to accept that what's done is done and try and work through it together. It is not going to help your marriage or your depression and self-esteem if you chew yourself up over something that was essentially an error of judgement. Maybe try relate for marriage counselling if things get hard to work out between the both of you. But if you truly love each other to bits, then I'm sure it will work out

Go easy on yourself girl :hug: everybody makes mistakes
 
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