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could this be the beginnings of an eating disorder?

L

LightMeUp

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
22
I don't personally feel like ive been doing or am doing something wrong but my partner has brought to my attention his concerns and a 2 other family members have quizzed my eating habits. So I thought I should check with people who have experience on how eating disorders can start and if my situation relates in any way.

I'll start to mention that I suffer from bipolar, emotionally unstable personality disorder, anxiety and ocd. Fair bloody list I know. Not sure if an eating disorder can be a result of any above. I am 22 and from what ive heard about the illness is that it usually develops in adolescent years, so again a little hard to believe this is what is wrong with me. I just think my partner is over worrying.

I feel extremely fat, though im told i look absolutely fine and beautiful, but of course my family would say that about me, they are obliged to. I am constantly checking myself in the mirror and putting on the same pair of shorts daily to see if there is any weight loss.

I need my stomach to feel empty for me to be satisfied and happy/comfortable. Morning is the best feeling when im completely empty. I prefer to lay down because my tummy appears flatter. If i have anything to eat at all, i feel full, heavy and completely disgusting and feel like i have completely failed myself and ruined my whole day, I then feel the need to do things to hopefully rid the extra food I have consumed.

I started dieting about 4 months ago but the last 2 weeks I have apparently been taking it too far. Ive been eating as little as possible. For today for example I had the mother and father in law round for belated Christmas dinner. They had the full works but i restricted myself. I haven't had much other than what I am having now, which i have spent the last 45 mins ish crying about because I feel like ive eaten alot i feel dirty, disgusting, fat, heavy and really depressed. I would be lying if i said i hadn't attempted to get it out of my system but I just couldn't make it happen so i took something instead.

I hope not to offend anyone who has this disorder by bringing up my problems. From personal experience i have sometimes felt really upset when people think they have bipolar because they tick a few symptoms. So please dont think I am taking the piss im just needing some peace of mind. I would appreciate any advise, but i am a sensitive soul so please be kind.
 
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M

Mad_Dog

Active member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
29
if you think you may have an eating disorder then you probably do.
if you think you may have an eating disorder go see you G.P. take someone with you, who is supportive, like your boyfriend for support/backup.
Maybe bullet point what is worrying you with you eating.
The sooner an eating disorder is treated the easier it is to treat
hope things go well x
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
If you are consciously doing all of what you are doing then you've obviously got a problem there that you should really talk to your psychiatrist about. Keeping healthy by eating properly is really quite important when suffering with mental health disorders so please don't let it go on for too much longer without seeking assistance. Listen to your family and partner. They are concerned for a reason.

I've bipolar disorder and it definitely has affected my eating habits but not particularly in the way that you have described. When I'm on a high I often forget to eat for long periods of time as I don't feel hungry. I have also had problems with voices and paranoia which has adversely affected my eating habits. When low I want to eat everything! I have battled with bulimia but see this as a separate issue.

Obviously everyone is different and even people with the same illnesses will suffer in different ways so I can't really tell you if it's connected to anything you're already suffering with. Hopefully someone else will come by and offer more in the way of an answer. I hope you manage to sort your eating problems and stay healthy.
 
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B

bnmaxi

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2015
Messages
8
Location
Bucks, England
I was like this before and yes this is definitely the start of an eating disorder. The fact that you have realised it shows that you are conflicted and don't want to feel this way. You know deep down that eating disorders are really bad for you but it makes you feel so good when it starts to work, but please don't fall into that trap. Get out before it's too late!

Compare it to something like a relationship. If you had had strong suspicions that your partner was having an affair and you even knew some small facts about what was happening, would you confront them? If you are questioning happenings with your eating you should definitely assess the information you know.
Having obsessive thoughts, eating extremely low amounts, restricting your eating ESPECIALLY around family occasions or gatherings are all signs to me that you have an eating disorder.

An eating disorder is NOT the things you do! Anyone can skip a meal here and there and it doesn't mean they are anorexic. It's 95% about the mindset and the thoughts because and ED is only about 5% physical and 95% mental. If you have disordered thoughts about eating and severely low thoughts about your appearance and body issues then you already have an ED. No matter how small and how easy to overcome, it's there. It's really good you've noticed it now and the fact that you are asking people's advice on here shows you care and you don't want that. Please speak to someone. If you feel pressured by the people in your life who have pointed it out and you feel trapped and don't want to admit it to them, then DON'T! It's your life, your body and your DECISION! But please speak to someone. Go see your GP or speak to someone who knows.

If it is in a small stage it can be overcome by itself but I wouldn't advise that. I started off exactly this way the very first time and then I would snap myself back and step away from it because I didn't want all the negative effects and health complications that came with anorexia. But because I did it myself and put the thoughts away, they came back and I moved onto bulimia. When bulimia was settled with me, anorexia tied in and it spiralled quickly to the point where I didn't want help and to the point where I would rather die than admit I had a problem in case people tried to stop me and take away everything I had built. I wish I never got into that stage and had dealt with it when I had the chance. Maybe seeing a doctor at this stage in your thinking would be the best thing to do. Prevention is definitely the best cure especially when it comes to something as serious as an eating disorder, which thankfully is a subject that has a lot of knowledge around it.

Also, 22 is not an unusual age to develop an ED. It normally starts between 12-18 although there are cases as low as 6 and and as high as 55! It's not the age, it's the emotions and sometimes priorities change when we get older. I would definitely say don't be afraid of getting help because you feel like you're out of the age demographic. You can't chose an eating disorder, and eating disorder will always chose you!

I'm here to talk if you wanna chat?
 
A

Azalea

Active member
Joined
Jul 21, 2014
Messages
28
Location
Lancashire
Hey I just thought I would add to this as I feel very similar. First off I am not underweight.
My problem though is for the last 6 months or so I have been totally obsessed with food, not so much the type of food (I still eat junk ) but the calories. I'm obsessed with exercise and also have a very physical job which can sometimes have me walking a lot. I pretty much eat as I like because I know I have calories "in the bank" as it were because of all the exercise I have done. I sometimes go through days of severely under eating but I'm very impulsive and tend to eat things without really taking much notice and then feel guilty after. At the moment I have a knee injury which has stopped my exercise and I am upset over it, I feel like I'm gaining lots of weight and I hate my self for it. I weigh my self constantly and have once or twice made myself purge after a very big meal because I felt so guilty.
Now I know from the outside it dosent look like I have a problem but I'm starting to think this could escalate and in all honesty I felt great at my thinnest and would love to be slimmer but at the moment I can't restrict myself that much because impulse takes over.
 
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L

LightMeUp

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
22
I was like this before and yes this is definitely the start of an eating disorder. The fact that you have realised it shows that you are conflicted and don't want to feel this way. You know deep down that eating disorders are really bad for you but it makes you feel so good when it starts to work, but please don't fall into that trap. Get out before it's too late!

Compare it to something like a relationship. If you had had strong suspicions that your partner was having an affair and you even knew some small facts about what was happening, would you confront them? If you are questioning happenings with your eating you should definitely assess the information you know.
Having obsessive thoughts, eating extremely low amounts, restricting your eating ESPECIALLY around family occasions or gatherings are all signs to me that you have an eating disorder.

An eating disorder is NOT the things you do! Anyone can skip a meal here and there and it doesn't mean they are anorexic. It's 95% about the mindset and the thoughts because and ED is only about 5% physical and 95% mental. If you have disordered thoughts about eating and severely low thoughts about your appearance and body issues then you already have an ED. No matter how small and how easy to overcome, it's there. It's really good you've noticed it now and the fact that you are asking people's advice on here shows you care and you don't want that. Please speak to someone. If you feel pressured by the people in your life who have pointed it out and you feel trapped and don't want to admit it to them, then DON'T! It's your life, your body and your DECISION! But please speak to someone. Go see your GP or speak to someone who knows.

If it is in a small stage it can be overcome by itself but I wouldn't advise that. I started off exactly this way the very first time and then I would snap myself back and step away from it because I didn't want all the negative effects and health complications that came with anorexia. But because I did it myself and put the thoughts away, they came back and I moved onto bulimia. When bulimia was settled with me, anorexia tied in and it spiralled quickly to the point where I didn't want help and to the point where I would rather die than admit I had a problem in case people tried to stop me and take away everything I had built. I wish I never got into that stage and had dealt with it when I had the chance. Maybe seeing a doctor at this stage in your thinking would be the best thing to do. Prevention is definitely the best cure especially when it comes to something as serious as an eating disorder, which thankfully is a subject that has a lot of knowledge around it.

Also, 22 is not an unusual age to develop an ED. It normally starts between 12-18 although there are cases as low as 6 and and as high as 55! It's not the age, it's the emotions and sometimes priorities change when we get older. I would definitely say don't be afraid of getting help because you feel like you're out of the age demographic. You can't chose an eating disorder, and eating disorder will always chose you!

I'm here to talk if you wanna chat?

Hi, Thank you for taking the time to reply to me I really appreciate it.

I'm afraid to say things have gotten a lot worse since I made this thread and I'm currently going through heavy restriction and already can't break out of it. Food is no longer food to me anymore, it's just numbers, I'm weighing out all my salad :( I'm avoiding social situations because I don't want to eat.

Thank you for sharing some of your story it really does help. I don't think I've felt so alone. I have a supportive partner but I feel like I'm putting strain on the relationship because of my habits. He's forever worried and frustrated.

I have lost a significant amount of weight since the last week in November.

I've taken everything you've said on board. Again really appreciate your response it was most informative :) x
 
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L

LightMeUp

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
22
Hey I just thought I would add to this as I feel very similar. First off I am not underweight.
My problem though is for the last 6 months or so I have been totally obsessed with food, not so much the type of food (I still eat junk ) but the calories. I'm obsessed with exercise and also have a very physical job which can sometimes have me walking a lot. I pretty much eat as I like because I know I have calories "in the bank" as it were because of all the exercise I have done. I sometimes go through days of severely under eating but I'm very impulsive and tend to eat things without really taking much notice and then feel guilty after. At the moment I have a knee injury which has stopped my exercise and I am upset over it, I feel like I'm gaining lots of weight and I hate my self for it. I weigh my self constantly and have once or twice made myself purge after a very big meal because I felt so guilty.
Now I know from the outside it dosent look like I have a problem but I'm starting to think this could escalate and in all honesty I felt great at my thinnest and would love to be slimmer but at the moment I can't restrict myself that much because impulse takes over.

Hey, I'm not under weight either, however I have lost quite a lot of weight in a short amount of time.

If you are obsessing about food so much that it's making you stressed/anxious/guilty then as the person above mentioned an eating disorder is just as much a mental problem as it is a physical one. Never feel like you don't have a problem just because you don't fit all the criteria/symptoms. Your entitled to help and support as much as the next person.

I am having an operation soon and I am not going to be able to exercise either, which I do daily. I am afraid of piling the pounds on too. In fact the way I'm feeling at the moment is to decline the operation purely because I do not want to gain weight.

Feel free to message me if you need anymore support :)
 
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C

codyedwardwilliams

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2015
Messages
3
Stress eating? Please go to a doctor so they can give you medications and some healthy diet good for your condition.
 
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