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Could it really be psychosis

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Peppercorn

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Dec 2, 2014
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I have been depressed throughout my life. It started as a kid due to living in an abusive environment. (physical abuse, verbal abuse and sexual abuse). I remember self harm as young as 12 years old. I remember hating myself and wishing I lived in a different place. I remember moving at least 22 times in 18 years.

The first time I am going to say I heard something weird was 16, I heard someone call my name. Other times, I have heard the phone ring all day, I have seen the shadow people and mice run across the floor. I have seen a woman standing in the room with me, repeatedly, she just stands there. I usually hear noises, not voices. The slamming of a car door, the phone ringing nonstop, a power drill, the microwave beeping.

I also have weird smells of urine and at times I feel like I have bugs crawling on my or in my hair.

I have also seen myself committing suicide, witnessed a woman in my truck killing me. I see scary faces, clowns, people coming down the hall way, they just appear out of no where. I also see flashes of color, mostly purple

The reason I ask if this is psychosis is because I know about it when it happens, it's freaky, scary. I am in my 40's and have never discussed this with any therapist until recently. I have been ashamed and worried they would think I am nuts.

This happens infrequently over years. It doesn't happen everyday, it occurs more often when I am very depressed. The episode might last a couple of seconds, the visuals one's that is. The noise things sometimes will last for hours.

I am also very forgetful, I will forget something I want to do or need to do within seconds. I know that I don't have any kind of brain cancer or lesions in my brain as I have recently had a CT scan of my head.

I really am concerned about this, I think it is impossible that I have psychosis, but then again I have to admit I have these experiences.

I haven't discussed this with family due to embarrassment or because they will think I am a lunatic and think less of me.

Thanks for any suggestions or opinions
 
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SarahD

SarahD

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Oct 21, 2014
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Hi Peppercorn

It could be psychosis. Some people with psychosis aren't aware what they experience is not real, but other people can be aware of this. To find out if that is what is happening to you, you would need to see a psychiatrist. There are no tests though, he/she will just evaluate you from what you say. There are several conditions that can cause psychosis.

What does your therapist say? Are you taking medicine for your depression? Can you cope with these experiences, or would you consider taking antipsychotic drugs? It is worth looking into and knowing something about before you seek help because these drugs are powerful and can be harmful. They do help some people. Others try to find other ways of help.
 
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Peppercorn

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Dec 2, 2014
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Hi Peppercorn

It could be psychosis. Some people with psychosis aren't aware what they experience is not real, but other people can be aware of this. To find out if that is what is happening to you, you would need to see a psychiatrist. There are no tests though, he/she will just evaluate you from what you say. There are several conditions that can cause psychosis.

What does your therapist say? Are you taking medicine for your depression? Can you cope with these experiences, or would you consider taking antipsychotic drugs? It is worth looking into and knowing something about before you seek help because these drugs are powerful and can be harmful. They do help some people. Others try to find other ways of help.
I am seeing someone, I see a therapist and a psychiatrist for medication. I have an appointment with psychiatrist on the 10th
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Sep 29, 2013
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It does sound like psychosis, triggered by depressive states. If you mention it to your psychiatrist they may well recommend some medication. Whether or not to take it would be your choice, they don't force medication unless you are a threat to yourself or others. But most antipsychotic meds have side effects, I would research them before agreeing to take them so that you can make an informed decision.
 
fructosefree

fructosefree

Member
Joined
Dec 31, 2013
Messages
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Hi Peppercorn,

It could also be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but don't trust anyone's judgement here, were not professionals.
According to various Psychiatric texts, PTSD has neurotic and anxious hallucinations like the ones your experiencing after the trauma. You realize these things are not true, therefore you are probably not insane.

Regards,
Fructosefree
 
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Peppercorn

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Dec 2, 2014
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I saw my psychiatrist yesterday. He said I have Major Depression with Psychosis. He said a lot of people have it and that it is treatable with medication. He prescribed Risperdone (sp). Did anyone else feel worse after the doctor told them what it was. Did you have lower self esteem and/or think less of yourself?
 
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Daftduck

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Jan 14, 2015
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Hi, I agree that it sounds like it could be psychosis, but don't panic, although your experiences have been terrifying, the fact they are psychosis means they will be less powerful as it is simply a reaction to stress and abuse that others would probably have in your position, a lot more people have psychosis than you hear about, and a lot are normal like you and me, it is just the media that makes it a scary sounding diagnosis, I am just sorry you have had such a tough time that it seems to have made you have this illness. You are still you, psychosis is just a name for experiences we can have. Hope you are ok and the med is ok
 
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