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Core Cause of Emotional Problems

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DDlock

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Nov 8, 2008
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The core cause of all emotional problems is Multi-Generational Unhealthy Shame. You all need to read the book "Healing the Shame that Binds You". The author is John Bradshaw.

I will show you the basis of what is said in that book.



Only 2 Elements of Healthy Shame

#1 Love #2 Understanding of self
A: Set Boundry’s

Appreciate People and you will be so richly Blessed. That is what helps people succeed. That is what makes a Relationship grow bright. I read this on a fortune cookie and it is so true. When you are appreciated you appreciate yourself or love yourself.




3 Main Elements to Unhealthy Shame

When a person takes on some level of shame from someone, they probably already have love for that person who shames them and are looking for the elements Love and Understanding of self. Who wants condemnation?
# 1 Love #2 Understanding of self #3 Condemnation for guilt of another person

A: Condemnation for guilt means you take some of or more condemnation of that person who originally felt the guilt in the moment you are actually condemned by the condemner and from then on you may or may not feel as condemned as much as the condemner.
It is being made to feel guilty for saying, doing something that you had no control over or being something that is who you are.

***** If one of these elements is out of balance or there are not enough of these elements to thrive against a negative thought or emotion that is still with that person, you will probably feel Darkness and darkness is the pain. That thought is a false belief system that is instilled in you at an early age. (False belief system is like the UnHealthy Shame) *******

Odd Example: If a person feels mad at one race of people for something that has been done to that person they may tell another person that is of that same race that had nothing to do with the abuse “all people of that race are bad people” and that person that is condemned feels he is a bad person. He is now condemned.
 
Ashami

Ashami

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I am a great fan of John Bradshaw and love his book 'Homecoming'. It taught me an awful lot about why I am like I am. I highly recommend any of John Bradshaw's work.

I believe it is true that we all live with shame to some degree or other, as we are all affected by attitudes and perceptions of those around us-especially when we are children. We are after all social animals and it does matter to us how our communities feel about us, but when that shame is 'toxic', ie it hinders healthy emotional growth and balance, it can take us to a very unhealthy place and steal our happiness.

Finding a way home, to inner peace, demands we seek to shift our own perceptions, toward a more positive and healthy outlook. We are responsible for what we think, say and do, but not responsible for how people react to what we think, say and do. Their perceptions are their own and as adults we can choose to shun them.

Unfortunately, in theory it seems easy but it takes a lifetime believing it!
 
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