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Coping with isolation

J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
I have some mental health problems which affect my relationships but I need help with a specific issue. I have been having trouble with my friend group for several months now and the point I am at I do not speak to 4 of them anymore and the only person who would talk to me has flaked on me twice now. For a normal person they could just brush it off and forgive them but I am literally destroying myself in isolation and no matter what I say to them nothing changes and I wake up isolated again. I feel like I am not being treated like a human anymore.

Apologies if this is vague but it would take forever to map it all out, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
Some more context:

- the group has heavy relationship drama

- I'm not the most social or interesting person

- I have the strong urge to retaliate against this person even though I know it won't solve anything
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
11,761
Location
Nowhere
hi Jm :welcome: !

do you know what mental health resources there are
in your area ? there is quite a bit where I live ( UK )
its far from perfect, but I have had quite alot of help
if I make some noise about it

you also have friends here
I hope you find it helpful on the forum

:grouphug:🕯🍀
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
hi Jm :welcome: !

do you know what mental health resources there are
in your area ? there is quite a bit where I live ( UK )
its far from perfect, but I have had quite alot of help
if I make some noise about it

you also have friends here
I hope you find it helpful on the forum

:grouphug:🕯🍀
I have thought about it but never really had the confidence, but I am considering it because I am struggling to resolve this on my own, also I do live in the UK so I'd probably go to my GP
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
11,761
Location
Nowhere
I think it would be worth it
maybe the first port of call would be your GP
who can let you know what is going on I the area

nobody can force medication on you
unless you are a danger to yourself or someone else

and you can chat here about how its going
to make sure you are getting what you want out ot it
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
I think it would be worth it
maybe the first port of call would be your GP
who can let you know what is going on I the area

nobody can force medication on you
unless you are a danger to yourself or someone else

and you can chat here about how its going
to make sure you are getting what you want out ot it
Okay thanks a lot, I really needed to just put it out there and move it out of my mind a bit cause the isolation aspect just kind of keeps running around in my mind but I know it's not right for me to allow myself to get worse

Thanks for the response 🙂
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
3,554
Location
USA
Hi there.

Is it that you are isolating or you feel like your friends are excluding you?
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
Hi there.

Is it that you are isolating or you feel like your friends are excluding you?
It started as them excluding me but I have got to a point where I don't go out much, and I understand that they are adults and have their own lives but I feel myself getting more and more agitated about it and constantly thinking about the negative behaviours that stack up. I have some other friends but they live/work far away and I wouldn't typically ask them for help with things like this.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
3,554
Location
USA
Maybe it's time to try to find some different friends or reach out to the ones that live and work far away?
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
Maybe it's time to try to find some different friends or reach out to the ones that live and work far away?
Yeah I still speak to some of them off and on, that's one thing I've been doing to try and keep myself more positive
 
floppypancakes

floppypancakes

Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Singapore
I have some mental health problems which affect my relationships but I need help with a specific issue. I have been having trouble with my friend group for several months now and the point I am at I do not speak to 4 of them anymore and the only person who would talk to me has flaked on me twice now. For a normal person they could just brush it off and forgive them but I am literally destroying myself in isolation and no matter what I say to them nothing changes and I wake up isolated again. I feel like I am not being treated like a human anymore.

Apologies if this is vague but it would take forever to map it all out, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hello!

I've had similar issues as yours too. I am very inclined to isolating myself and it truly sucks. It is a tricky situation in my perspective because being with a group of friends feels like a lot of work compared to focusing on 1 or 2. Conflicts are tiring. I was in multiple situations like yours and it has led me extremely depressed that I lost trust in my relationships with people. To that end, I have pushed myself to seek counselling and it helped me out a lot. So I really recommend seeking help if you can. A lot of the healing process comes from talking it out to someone who is neutral to your perspective. I learned to step back and access my relationships. Sometimes it is actually a toxic relationship or 2 that then snowballs to affecting the rest of your relationships... which is what happened for me. Sometimes certain people don't mix well with certain people and it is just how it is I guess... I am careful to say that when I mean toxic relationships, it does not necessarily mean that it is a one sided - one of us is the bad guy kind of situation... it is more like 'my coping mechanisms clash with yours, the relationship drains both...' kind of thing...
I think it is good to just see each friend as their own person rather than the dynamics of the whole group... I think what matters more is your relationship with each one rather than keeping a group as a group or a clique as a clique.
I guess when things do get sour or cold... it gets uncomfortable to repatch things... Maybe give yourself some time, don't be so hard on yourself. I know for me I always feel guilt weighing on me from all the isolation I do. I would give myself a 'refresh', take this uncomfortable time to air out. If it patches up it patches and if not... then not... things just happen... people come and go... nothing can really guarantee to last as long as you or anyone wishes... it is hard but that is how it is... My counsellor used to tell me it is like a train, people get on and sometime later they will get off... maybe someday they may get on the train again...
It is a lonely road... but I wish you the very best. Stay isolated for a while, but don't stay too long... it is good to still talk to people or other friends if you can. Hope this helps.
 
J

Jm98

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Stalybridge
I am careful to say that when I mean toxic relationships, it does not necessarily mean that it is a one sided - one of us is the bad guy kind of situation... it is more like 'my coping mechanisms clash with yours, the relationship drains both...'
Yeah I fully agree with that, there is toxic behaviour on all sides, and when I'm feeling less negative I have to admit that it is a lot of people clashing who are all stressed with life, its just hard to not see it from a self centred perspective, especially when the negative stuff keeps piling up. And a lot of "If this hadn't have happened" in terms of relationship stuff but like I said it's hard to be objective when it really feels all on me in an unnecessary way
 
I

Ihavecontrolofthebeast

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
76
Location
Uk
Do you want to be friends with these people?
 
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