Coping with death and everything at the same time

K

Krang

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Joined
Aug 17, 2018
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1
#1
Hi all,

My father passed away a week ago from prostate cancer. This was overseas (I live in Australia). I hate saying this but I harboured some resentment towards Dad because he left Australia 3 years ago to be with some random lady, not telling us where he was going, a phone number address or anything. He never got a chance to meet my two beautiful boys properly even though I asked him multiple times.

We hardly heard from him until 2 weeks ago when he said he needed to come to Australia urgently. As in book me a flight.. So we booked him a flight to come here. They refused entry to the flight based on him looking sick. I knew then he was doomed so my sister and I then went to see him overseas. The worst part about it is I went 2 days before my wife kids and I had to move house. I fel awful about doing that to them too.

So, sister and I went overseas and spent time with Dad. Naturally he looked real bad. The father I once knew was skin and bones. Couldn’t eat or hardly talk. Luckily we exchanged a few sentences before he got worse and got to the point where he couldn’t talk. I’d said I forgave him and did what we could to make him feel comfortable.

To help alleviate his pain we sent him to hospital. What an experience that was. All I can say is that if you ever travel to a South East Asian country make sure you have travel insurance. Dad didn’t. I guess this made me resent him even more as the bills added up super fast. I resented him for not bothering being there for us and then at the last minute me and my sister had to frantically run around for him. It sounds like a bastard of a son but he had lived his entire life like this when we were growing up.

Anyway, I fell very ill with typhoid fever and wasn’t there when he actually passed. I didn’t feel so bad as I said my good byes and he was surrounded by his new partner. In saying that I was so sick I didn’t get out of bed for 3 days, stuck in a hotel room.

Luckily I felt good enough to leave the country a couple days later. I just wanted to get the hell out of there and go home and be with my own family.

I am still haunted with the thoughts of “Did I do everything I could for Dad?, Why did I fall so sick when he passed?”.. All these random thoughts..

So in the space of 3 weeks, I’ve been made redundant, lost my father and moved into a new house. I moved states so don’t know many people.I know I need a job as my savings is dwindling fast but I just feel like I don’t care!

I’ve never felt this way before and I feel like sometimes life is pointless.
 
Last edited:
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#2
Hi,
I'm really sorry for your loss, please don't doubt yourself I'm sure you did everything you could. You have to take care of you to.
Here to listen anytime.
You didn't let your own family down either.
Again sorry this happened to you, bereavement counselling in the future might be needed. Your still grieving and will feel hopeless etc.
Take care
 
Last edited:
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
#3
just wanted to welcome you to the forum x
mayflower is right you have to look after yourself to

i hope you find this place useful
lots of love Lu x
 
M

mango22

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2018
Messages
48
#4
Hi
I'm so sorry all that happened to you, what a horrible time you've had. As the others have said, you need a little time to recover and look after yourself. It's not surprising all this has knocked you off kilter. We are here to listen if you need to blow off steam x
 
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