• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

control

R

rain and roses

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
693
Location
Scotland
i think a lot of things i do including cutting is all about control and making myself feel like pain is less, and making me feel safe and in charge. i really think that being in control is huge for me and just wondering if anyone else related a lot of what they do including SH to feeling in control?
 
Angels

Angels

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2010
Messages
2,466
Location
Oblivion
No, i do it spontaniously. just out of the blue randomly, most of the time when i feel perfectly fine. i dont understand it, usually i can keep the urge under controll. however latley ive ended up with a rather nasty wound :S
 
R

rain and roses

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
693
Location
Scotland
i dont ever do it when i feel fine, i do it mostly if i'm feeling distressed and not in control of myself. i really struggle to keep it under control because i always feel like i need to when i'm in a bad state. it kind of makes me feel in charge of my body and myself
 
R

rain and roses

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
693
Location
Scotland
i never do it if i feel ok or happy. its only to relese distress and it makes me feel less like i am going to do something worse. it makes me feel less unstable but i worry though that i'm not going to be able stop myself doing it, i worry that its the only thing that stops me doing something worse, and helps release the pain. i'm scared i wont be able to stop
 
C

checking-it-twice

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2011
Messages
23
Location
UK
I used to cut partly because it gave me control over something in my life.
And I wouldn't be surprised if that control thing is also linked to my occasional OCD behaviour.
 
gazza

gazza

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
198
Location
England
I don't self harm any more but use to up until a few years ago. I needed to release build up in my head. I had kept my mental health problems to myself and whenever i tried to communicate them to people I would be met with things like "what have you got to feel sad about" and bla bla. So kept it internal but would reach a point of near explosion. Kind of like taking a kettle that has boiled all of the water away and suddenly taking it from the gas and throwing it in to a sink of cold water.

I met a girl who would self harm and i guess she found me to be very understanding about it and i showed her my arms. I told her that i never cover them as they are the scars of my mind, battle scars and they make me who i am.

When a friend noticed them once they were really shocked but as i was so use to them as it was just something that wasn't alien to me i didn't care.

When i meet someone with scars it feels like we have something in common before we've even said a word to each other, although everyone's scars tell their own personal story.

I'm in a place where i don't feel the urge at the moment but have been suicidal at times, which is a bit odd.

A big thanks to this site for being so understanding and warm and sincere, it really has helped me at times i've been low :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Niniane

Niniane

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 27, 2010
Messages
449
Location
France
I do self-harm to control myself and my emotions. It gets me back on a "normal" mood.
It's also one of the few things that I have some sort of control on, but it's starting to control me more than the opposite.
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1,014
Location
north norfolk
For me SH is a way of releasing frustration. I have cut once before just to make sure I could still feel. Its also a control thing, when i am on that slippery slope and hate it, its a way of bringing me back to where I should be. On wednesday this week I had reached my lowest low for months, everything was too much to cope with, so when #1 son chose to be a pain I HAD to SH.
 
Top