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Continously feeling down

T

tyrone

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2015
Messages
4
Im 18 years old and im in high school currently. I am living a very good life according to what most people would say but for some reason I just feel really down. It feels like its been forever that i've felt like this and any small high I get is immediately followed by a hard crashing down. I don't even remember a time that I was really happy with my life. But I don't understand it, why do I always come home feeling like shit, feeling unwanted, feeling like in the end im all alone. This might sound a bit shallow and whatnot but I am what you would call "popular". I have a large social circle and I have friends in various different cliques. I get along with everyone and get told that I am a very likable guy. People tell me that i'm one of the funniest people they have ever met. I am able to get girls when I want I get told that i'm handsome and all that. I have a good family life and my grades are decent too, so I have no idea what has been dragging me down for so long. One of my closest friends who is a girl is going through so much shit and I love her and she loves me too, but her emotional problems are killing me, it feels as if it her problems are worse for me than for her. She hates the fact that she's into a guy who she doesn't wanna be into as he is a complete idiot, and a desperate asshole. He keeps on asking her to date when she doesn't want to and everytime he does it, it breaks her completely. But as much as it hurts her I dont know why but it kills me more than it affects her when she goes through all this shit. I get that I should feel bad, but even though she's the most amazing person her being into that guy and her problems are just making me depressed. It's like shes the best and worst thing thats ever happened to me and its just so fucked up. I can't blame her for this, for how I feel, or for anything cause I've been so bad to her so many times but she's always stuck by me. But I always feels as if the time I really feel at my lowest is when it has to do something with her. I just feel hopeless at time and I dont even know what im saying or doing. I dont know what to do, we were planning to go to college together and everything, she completely reciprocates every emotion I feel but somehow I just feel so empty. She's the only thing that I can pint point for me feeling empty, depressed, and alone , but how can it be here when she's the best thing that's happened in my life? I dont even know if i make any sense at all right now, i just feel like im finally letting out everything thats been on my mind lately.
 
T

tyrone

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2015
Messages
4
Hey there :) any suggestions on what I should do?
 
T

tyrone

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2015
Messages
4
Thank you so much it means a lot to me :) I guess i've had my life centered around one person for 4 years and even the slightest of bad news, or bed events hits really hard :/ But hopefully as you said I'll get more support! Thanks again ! :)
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Tyrone and welcome to the forum.

It's a tough one but the two main thoughts that spring to mind, after reading your post are:

Although we often look for a reason behind it, depression is not always situational; there's often no rhyme nor reason to it. My depressive episodes, for example, spring out of nowhere. So perhaps, because you've been feeling low and looking for answers, the only thing you could think of was your friend and her situation and the two have become kind of linked?

The other thing could be that you have stronger feelings for your friend and, deep down, you feel uncomfortable, low and/or jealous when you think of her with someone else, or when she's feeling low?

Then again, it could be neither and I might have just been talking nonsense! (it wouldn't be the first time :))

Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling?
 
T

tyrone

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2015
Messages
4
This is the first time that I've ever opened up about this subject :$. The second part does make sense since we used to have a small thing before we became best friends, but in this state i'm in I really don't know if i'm sure of what i'm feeling or its something else. I've read somewhere that the key to getting yourself back upon your feet is to find the source of your problems and I guess perhaps in my desperation I started blaming the one person i've ever really been attached to.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hopefully sharing on here will help. We won't be able to solve your problems but we can listen and support.

Perhaps there is no blame. It might be a case of taking note of how you're feeling and, if it continues, or gets worse, talking to someone or visiting your doctor to discuss what you're going through.
 
RainbowHeartz

RainbowHeartz

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Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
13,273
Hiya and :welcome: to the forums xoxoxox
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum. :hi:
I know you won't believe me, but teenage years are agony and life does get a bit better as an adult. Hang on in there.
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
Thank you so much it means a lot to me :) I guess i've had my life centered around one person for 4 years and even the slightest of bad news, or bed events hits really hard :/ But hopefully as you said I'll get more support! Thanks again ! :)
It's never good to have all your eggs in one basket. Diversify with friends....online and otherwise if you can. It spreads the load!
Hopefully you'll find some here...:welcome:
 
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