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Contamination fears

jay93

jay93

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Ireland
Hi, I'm new to this but I really need help/advice. I have really bad contamination fears and tonight my anxiety is just through the roof! My main fears involve poo/vomit and basically the pavements these days are DESTROYED in dog poo and I can't begin to explain how distressed I am. I have a really big issue with shoes and I cant allow anyone near my house with shoes, I make my kids take their shoes off on the door step, I'm literally terrified someone will have stepped in poo and it'll contaminate my whole home and we'll get seriously ill! My kids were out playing today and yesterday and I kept thinking they'd step in poo, I kept watching them at the window and telling them to make sure they watch where they step etc. I was so paranoid. When it was time for them to come in, I got their dad to check their shoes before they stepped into the house and one of them had got poo on their shoe!!! I now feel completely contaminated and disgusting even though my partner cleaned the shoe. I keep thinking what would've happened it we hadn't checked the kids shoes. I now don't even want to let the kids leave the house incase it happens again. I already try avoid visitors coming over because I worry they might not remove their shoes and then my home will be contaminated. I've tried really hard to face my fears and allow people into my home with shoes but anytime I do, I end up freaking out and the second they leave I scrub the floor, change everyone's socks/slippers, wash all doormats, anything that could've come into contact with the shoes!! I worry that it's going to affect my kids seeing me freak out about this sort of thing because I don't see other parents reacting like this over dog poo on shoes, I see other kids running in and out of their house freely but I could never just let my kids come inside untill they've been fully inspected! I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone says I'm just being silly but I can't help my thoughts. I've been this way since I was a child and I'm 27 now. Sometimes I'm not quite as bad and then something will happen to completely trigger me e.g. I might see vomit on the pavement and for about a week I'll obsessively clean and I'll keep thinking about it over and over again. I honestly HATE people coming to my home because I see my home as a "safe space" and a place where I can control the germs so when someone comes over I keep thinking "oh god, what if they use my toilet, what if they puke on my floor, what of they touched something gross and then touch items in my home" etc. I also am a major people pleaser so I'm aware that I need to try and hide these thoughts/feelings incase they see me as being rude or unwelcoming. God I'm just in such a state tonight, I'm sorry if I'm rambling and not making much sense. I just want to be normal and I never see that happening ☹ I guess I just want to see is there anyone else out there who has these same thoughts ☹
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
898
Location
Southern USA
That is terrible for you. I'm so sorry.
Have you considered treatment?
I know the U.K. Is in lockdown.
It's all so stressful. Best luck.
 
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