C
crystalrose
Member
Hi. If you experience germ related/contamination obsessions and compulsive hand washing and showering or know someone who has, id really appreciate your advice.
I don’t know if I have ocd, but I’ve been dealing with intense anxiety for years. Anxiety about my health has consumed my life for years. And now with covid, I’ve become more aware of germs, and that combined with my health anxiety, I’m in the worst place I’ve been so far.
I’ve started to wash my hands and shower excessively. Showering multiple times in a row because I just feel like I missed a spot, or I might’ve brushed against something and gotten dirty again, I question whether I have or not and even if I’m not sure, I think I better be safe and get back in. I question if I’ve washed long enough. I question if the soap is really working. If I need to scrub harder. Same thing happens with washing my hands. Was it really 20 seconds? Even if I counted, what if I counted wrong? I think I’m spending hours doing this now. Half my day at this point feels like I’m spending it in the bathroom. By the time I finish it all, I’ll have to use the bathroom again soon. While I know my fears and obsessions have been stacking and building for so long, this still has spiraled so fast. This particular obsession only started a couple weeks ago but it’s already got such a hold on me and I feel like I’m going crazy. When I’m washing, I feel trapped in a cycle that I can’t break out of I keep going and going. I want to cry but I have to keep doing it. It feels like I’m possessed or something like I just need to do it because taking the time to wash, as time consuming as it is, feels safer than letting it go and getting sick. Even though when I finish, I still feel worried I’m dirty and will get sick.
I’ve been using disinfectant spray too but I’m almost out and with covid i don’t know if I can even find more anywhere. i know germs are everywhere in the world, they’re unavoidable and that thought is so terrifying. I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want to touch anything at all, I feel like everything is contaminated and I don’t know what to do. I imagine the worst case scenario of everything.
If you have any advice on ways to cope and fight the compulsion or limit the thoughts, any things you say to yourself to reassure yourself, anything at all, please share. I don’t have therapy until next week and I feel like I’m at the breaking point.
I don’t know if I have ocd, but I’ve been dealing with intense anxiety for years. Anxiety about my health has consumed my life for years. And now with covid, I’ve become more aware of germs, and that combined with my health anxiety, I’m in the worst place I’ve been so far.
I’ve started to wash my hands and shower excessively. Showering multiple times in a row because I just feel like I missed a spot, or I might’ve brushed against something and gotten dirty again, I question whether I have or not and even if I’m not sure, I think I better be safe and get back in. I question if I’ve washed long enough. I question if the soap is really working. If I need to scrub harder. Same thing happens with washing my hands. Was it really 20 seconds? Even if I counted, what if I counted wrong? I think I’m spending hours doing this now. Half my day at this point feels like I’m spending it in the bathroom. By the time I finish it all, I’ll have to use the bathroom again soon. While I know my fears and obsessions have been stacking and building for so long, this still has spiraled so fast. This particular obsession only started a couple weeks ago but it’s already got such a hold on me and I feel like I’m going crazy. When I’m washing, I feel trapped in a cycle that I can’t break out of I keep going and going. I want to cry but I have to keep doing it. It feels like I’m possessed or something like I just need to do it because taking the time to wash, as time consuming as it is, feels safer than letting it go and getting sick. Even though when I finish, I still feel worried I’m dirty and will get sick.
I’ve been using disinfectant spray too but I’m almost out and with covid i don’t know if I can even find more anywhere. i know germs are everywhere in the world, they’re unavoidable and that thought is so terrifying. I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want to touch anything at all, I feel like everything is contaminated and I don’t know what to do. I imagine the worst case scenario of everything.
If you have any advice on ways to cope and fight the compulsion or limit the thoughts, any things you say to yourself to reassure yourself, anything at all, please share. I don’t have therapy until next week and I feel like I’m at the breaking point.