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Constantly Paranoid

J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
Lately, I have been really paranoid. I think people can hear my thoughts, even see my thoughts and I have tried to cut back on day dreaming or trying to control my thoughts so they won't know. And when I say "they", I mean friends and complete strangers. If I am in public I think everyone is staring at me and only confirm that theory when I meet eye contact. When I hear laughter, I think they are laughing at the way I am dressed or there's something on me. I try to tell myself that the thought alone is absurd but I can't deny this eerie feeling. I live in an apartment complex and every time I hear laughter I shrink. I yell and scream inside my head to see if they can hear it. Sometimes, I think I'm going insane!

One issue that has been bothering me for a while now is that I think people are watching me. I feel as if there are cameras everywhere in my house, and certain people are watching my every move, using what they learn to betray me or take advantage of me. I think there are cameras in the air vents and fire alarms and they watch me 24/7. I try to convince myself that I'm being ridiculous, who would want to watch me, and tell myself that nobody has it out for me. But no matter what, the same thoughts intrude my mind. I limit and watch what I do, afraid somebody is watching. I don't even feel comfortable in my own house or body! I feel like I'm the topic of conversation and people who I trust and care about are talking about me. That everyone is against me. Even my own best friends. I love them and they are awesome but I feel like they are talking about me too. I've checked the fire alarms and air vents and cannot find one camera! I'm obsessed with this thinking. I'm scared, worried that my mental health is in danger. I haven't told anybody of this fear. I would do ANYTHING to make it stop!!!

I don't go outside much and stay in my room 24/7. This is where I feel VERY uncomfortable. Anywhere else in the house (anywhere I don't really stay) I feel secure. Maybe it's because I stay in this room too much that I feel this way. I use to not think this way, ever. But the more and more I stay in this room, stay thinking the same things, continue to be isolated, the more insane I become.

It's driving me crazy and any feedback is welcome to help. Sorry for the long post and any grammar/spelling errors.
 
M

Mastiff mom

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
1,157
Location
Washington,DC
It sounds like you're having a terrible time. I'm so sorry you feel so uncomfortable, even in your own home. Have you considered finding a therapist? It might be helpful to get another perspective on what you're experiencing. I hope things will get better for you. Hugs.
 
J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
I have thought about seeing one and probably plan on doing so because these thoughts are too much to bare. And thank you for replying so soon! Hugs
 
T

Topcat

Guest
I sometimes think my husband is spying on me with cameras, or talking about me behind my back with doctors. The doctors thing is quite possible, but the cameras thing maybe less possible. Although he has bought spy cameras before, like a pen one, or that might have just been a sound recorder? I forget.
Anyway, its not nice feeling spied on, I just have to think, what would anyone really care about what I might be doing. I don't really do anything particularly interesting and worth recording. I think most of my weird stuff goes on inside my head, so watching me would be rather dull.
:hug:
X
 
J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
I think the same thing because I don't really do much that would be interesting to record, so I use that to contradict the theory of there being hidden cameras. But sometimes, even with this in mind, I can't deny the feeling of being watched. But Thank you for your reply! (Hahahaha I like that quote)
 
T

Topcat

Guest
I think the same thing because I don't really do much that would be interesting to record, so I use that to contradict the theory of there being hidden cameras. But sometimes, even with this in mind, I can't deny the feeling of being watched. But Thank you for your reply! (Hahahaha I like that quote)
I know its hard to ignore.
But just think, if we're really quite boring, if there were anyone recording and watching us just think how immensely boring they must be, they have no life whatsoever. We can at least rub that in their imaginary face :)
 
J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
I know its hard to ignore.
But just think, if we're really quite boring, if there were anyone recording and watching us just think how immensely boring they must be, they have no life whatsoever. We can at least rub that in their imaginary face :)
Hahahahaha lol well that's true and very much helplful in my situation. Watching me watch Netflix must be pretty boring though. :)
 
krista

krista

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 13, 2013
Messages
1,844
Location
London
I often feel like certain things happen just to mess with my head. even though deep down I know I'm being ridiculous, I can't help feeling and thinking those things.
and people are following me..

but I try to get back down to earth and get on with my day.. just like Topcat said.
 
apple

apple

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 28, 2014
Messages
707
Sorry to hear that you've been having so many symptoms of paranoia. In the UK there is a National Paranoia Network and they have information about coping strategies which you may find helpful to download.

Here's the link ...... Downloads
 
J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
Yeah, I'm trying to keep myself under control and keep telling myself "God, you're being ridiculous!" I can't let those thoughts get to me. Also Thank you for the link, I will check it out to see if it helps me with anything and right now I'll take any advice!
 
DrHouston

DrHouston

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
9
Lately, I have been really paranoid. I think people can hear my thoughts, even see my thoughts and I have tried to cut back on day dreaming or trying to control my thoughts so they won't know. And when I say "they", I mean friends and complete strangers. If I am in public I think everyone is staring at me and only confirm that theory when I meet eye contact. When I hear laughter, I think they are laughing at the way I am dressed or there's something on me. I try to tell myself that the thought alone is absurd but I can't deny this eerie feeling. I live in an apartment complex and every time I hear laughter I shrink. I yell and scream inside my head to see if they can hear it. Sometimes, I think I'm going insane!

One issue that has been bothering me for a while now is that I think people are watching me. I feel as if there are cameras everywhere in my house, and certain people are watching my every move, using what they learn to betray me or take advantage of me. I think there are cameras in the air vents and fire alarms and they watch me 24/7. I try to convince myself that I'm being ridiculous, who would want to watch me, and tell myself that nobody has it out for me. But no matter what, the same thoughts intrude my mind. I limit and watch what I do, afraid somebody is watching. I don't even feel comfortable in my own house or body! I feel like I'm the topic of conversation and people who I trust and care about are talking about me. That everyone is against me. Even my own best friends. I love them and they are awesome but I feel like they are talking about me too. I've checked the fire alarms and air vents and cannot find one camera! I'm obsessed with this thinking. I'm scared, worried that my mental health is in danger. I haven't told anybody of this fear. I would do ANYTHING to make it stop!!!

I don't go outside much and stay in my room 24/7. This is where I feel VERY uncomfortable. Anywhere else in the house (anywhere I don't really stay) I feel secure. Maybe it's because I stay in this room too much that I feel this way. I use to not think this way, ever. But the more and more I stay in this room, stay thinking the same things, continue to be isolated, the more insane I become.

It's driving me crazy and any feedback is welcome to help. Sorry for the long post and any grammar/spelling errors.
- Hey, sorry to hear this and hope you've been doing better.
- I feel that overall you understand your own problem, but there is one part of your brain that keeps creating the problem, just like how a person with OCD keeps checking locks even though he consciously knows the door is locked.
- I think it would be a good idea to wear that part of your brain out. So for instance, if over an hour it points you to 6 potential locations for cameras, go and check out every single location to confirm that there is no camera. If the brain says that some couple are talking about you, then actually try to hang around a bit and try to pick up on their conversation to confirm that they are actually not talking about you. Keep checking your suspicions over and over, and even though this might be a lot of hard work, it will eventually tire out your paranoid part of the brain and give more control to your sane-r part of the brain.
- Also, definitely pursue your dreams and do activities that you enjoy doing. Try to create the goal of making yourself really busy with activities you love. After all, our time is limited in this world and I am sure there's tones of things you would want to do, and many people you would want to meet and hang out with. So really, spending time in thinking about somebody spying on you, whether imaginary or even real, is time that you would better enjoy pursuing your hobbies and ambitions, with people you love!

Good luck!
 
J

J.Thomas3005

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
7
Location
North Carolina
I have noticed that when I am busy, I tend to let those thoughts fade and focus on the matter at hand. I do daydream a lot and I think that's were a lot of the paranoia comes from, because 99.9% when I daydream I create situations that will never happen. So I am going to try some activities to try and busy myself and get my mind off of things. And that is an excellent idea and a good one, about the wearing my brain out. I have checked several places were I think the cameras are located and have found none. This has lessened my suspicions for cameras. But the thing where people can hear my thoughts have only increased. I will try your suggestions to see if it helps. Overall I feel a lot better than I did before and a little more relaxed. Thank you so much for your input and if I can, I'll provide feedback to let you know if it's helped.
 
L

LingeringThoughts

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
5
I was in the same paranoia when I was in high school and college. I tend to think that some secret cameras were installed in our classroom, in the bathroom and even in our house. Because of this I tend to hide my emotions and my true self. Inside my head, I mold an image of a perfect daughter to my parents, a perfect sister and a perfect student. I did not even really know who or what I really am until I became 30 years old. I started to realize that I am not truly happy because I get too afraid to pursue my own desires and dreams. I'm afraid that if my friends and family knew who I really am they might reject me. However after much self deliberation and with the help of some friends I made online. I decided to come out of my shell and show the world the real me. I want to be un-perfect, eager to make abrupt decisions and not be afraid even if I fail, I challenged myself to hear as many negative criticisms as much as I can take and be okay with it. I know this is far as relatable to what you experience, but I wish you can overcome yours and live a happy and fulfilling life in the future.
 
DrHouston

DrHouston

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
9
I have noticed that when I am busy, I tend to let those thoughts fade and focus on the matter at hand. I do daydream a lot and I think that's were a lot of the paranoia comes from, because 99.9% when I daydream I create situations that will never happen. So I am going to try some activities to try and busy myself and get my mind off of things. And that is an excellent idea and a good one, about the wearing my brain out. I have checked several places were I think the cameras are located and have found none. This has lessened my suspicions for cameras. But the thing where people can hear my thoughts have only increased. I will try your suggestions to see if it helps. Overall I feel a lot better than I did before and a little more relaxed. Thank you so much for your input and if I can, I'll provide feedback to let you know if it's helped.
Sure, do let me know how it went for you!

Also, I feel the bigger problem is that, you must surely have many desires and ideas about what your career, your life should be like, but you are not pursuing them because of some reasons; some people can't do it due to lack of resources, money, family support, location problems, or plain laziness. Yours could be due to fear. If that is the case, please do have an honest discussion with yourself to find out what you would really like to do with the limited time you have (just like everyone else) in your life, the reasons that you are holding yourself back from doing it, and how you can overcome those problems.
Once you figure out the goals you would love to pursue in your life, and get excited about doing those, the problems of daydreaming and paranoia *should* vanish away! Good luck!
 
DrHouston

DrHouston

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2015
Messages
9
I was in the same paranoia when I was in high school and college. I tend to think that some secret cameras were installed in our classroom, in the bathroom and even in our house. Because of this I tend to hide my emotions and my true self. Inside my head, I mold an image of a perfect daughter to my parents, a perfect sister and a perfect student. I did not even really know who or what I really am until I became 30 years old. I started to realize that I am not truly happy because I get too afraid to pursue my own desires and dreams. I'm afraid that if my friends and family knew who I really am they might reject me. However after much self deliberation and with the help of some friends I made online. I decided to come out of my shell and show the world the real me. I want to be un-perfect, eager to make abrupt decisions and not be afraid even if I fail, I challenged myself to hear as many negative criticisms as much as I can take and be okay with it. I know this is far as relatable to what you experience, but I wish you can overcome yours and live a happy and fulfilling life in the future.
Thanks for sharing your story, LingeringThoughts, and I feel proud of you for having the courage to finally say enough is enough, and becoming what you really want to be!

I hope you are feeling a lot lighter now, after shedding off the burden of being the perfect person our society expects us to be. Indeed, you may not be the ideal person anymore, and you may not achieve all the 'good' things in life that our society expects us to pursue, but at least you'll be satisfied in your mind, knowing that you are finally being what you were meant to be.

That peace of mind is more valuable than any material things that our culture can offer by being a perfect citizen for them!

Ultimately, it is up to us to realize that this chance at a human life might be the only chance we get, so you cannot spend it according to someone else's wishes. Each of them have their own lives to take care of, so they have no right to dictate ours.
So keep kicking ass, good luck! :goodluck::peace:
 
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