Constant thoughts of death

[db110688]

I'm a 21 yr old female (just turned 21). Im not suicidal but I often have horrible thoughts of dying. Sometimes all of the time but most of the time just before I go to sleep or when Im alone. I've did a little research and so far it sounds like anxiety. At the beginning of this year a guy I was dating passed away from a drug over dose and Ive thought maybe it could have something to do with that. It was a very tramatic experience for me because I was the one that found him dead in his apt. I've never actually had a panic attack, I dont think, but when I start thinking about dying I start having trouble breathing and I feel like my heart starts racing. I dont think I'm depressed, I've accepted what happened with my ex and I have moved on with my life. I'm very happy with my life now. Met a nice guy, moved to another state, living the happy life I've always wanted so I've ruled out depression. I just need a little insight from personal experiences... Thank you...

 

[Apotheosis]

Can I be candid -

I'm personally not bothered about dying, in fact, getting older, & getting closer to that day is something that I feel good about. I don't find this morbid at all, I also think about death a lot, & my own & other peoples mortality.

I want to get to an old age, & live a full life, I am not suicidal, & nor do I have a death wish. Death is a natural part of life, but the human condition usually invokes a great fear of death - it is fear of the unknown.

It must be hard to have found your friend. I have had friends die too.

If you are interested, there is a very good book about life & death called Journey of souls - By Dr Michael Newton; I found it very helpful to were I was at.