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Constant thought of being teased/bullied

J

Jefforey

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Apr 29, 2018
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I am 38 year old single male. I am working out of home and last 3 years i have had thoughts of constantly being bullied/teased. I am unable to focus and get distracted by these images. Sometimes i speak aloud "stop it" or act out like punching or slapping the bully. I have completely lost my mental peace. I think i will go completely crazy soon. The images are of someone i know from school who bullied me or others i knew from work or from day to day life. I did suffer some bulliying in school but it was not excessive. Also i am super sensitive. I see something remotely offensive on tv or in real and i later feel like i am the one being victimised. I am on mirtazapine, eszopiclone and agomelatine for the last 10 years. Please advise.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Hi,

Sorry to hear that you are experiencing this, it sounds really hard. Have you ever seen a therapist regarding the bullying? Bullying can leave lasting damage, I still feel sick if I see a child wearing my old school uniform and expect them to pick on me and I'm in my mid 30s now, in fact there's a child in my neighbourhood who sometimes talks to me who I'm convinced is making fun of me and I feel just like I used to at school. I have to remind myself that I am an adult now and what an 11 year old thinks about me really doesn't matter. I was reading the other day that severe bullying can cause PTSD. It's definately worth discussing with your Dr what help is available.
 
B

BrokenToy

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Antrim Coast, Ireland
Hi Jefforey and welcome to the forum. :welcome:

I'd also support what Cazcat has said and talk to your doctor or therapist if you have one. Maybe a change of meds or change of dosage is all that's needed. Don't bottle this up, that will not help at all and you doctor really is there to listen to any concerns you have. You made a good move by joining this forum, there are nice people on here.
 
J

Jefforey

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Apr 29, 2018
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6
Thankyou. Is there a medical name for this condition?
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Thankyou. Is there a medical name for this condition?
Mental health diagnosis are often very complex and overlap each other. No one here is qualified to give a diagnosis based on you posts. Any type of mental distress is worth discussing with your Dr or therapist though and they should be able to help you further.
 
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BrokenToy

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Be very wary of self-diagnosis or other peoples opinions of your possible diagnosis. No-one here are qualified professional medical carers and we are all really just here for support purposes. Having a name for your condition might be useful but it really won't change anything. Even doctors can mis-diagnose some mental health issues, it's very complex and some people suffer from more than one issue which makes diagnosis even harder.

If you have a good relationship with your doctor just let it all out, everything that's churning in your head. If you want the best chance to get the help available you need to be honest with your Doc. You can get past this Jefforey, you're already on the right track now. This forum is usually very active so pop in and out anytime you need it and there should usually be someone to engage with you. Sometimes it's fun to just log-on here and chill-out away from the heavy stuff. There is a Chill-Out sub-section just for that purpose.

Cazcat slow down, you're beating me to every reply haha! :clap:
 
J

Jefforey

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Apr 29, 2018
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Thankyou :) . I guess it's best to talk to a therapist. I am using this app called headspace for a week now for meditation. Haven't seen any great improvement but will try it for a while longer. Last 2 days the negative thoughts just break my focus and i had abort the session midway.
 
J

Jefforey

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Apr 29, 2018
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There is one more thing i want to share. When i was in a 9 to 5 job till the age of 33 i did not have this condition. Only when i have a lot of idle time now that i feel this way.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Thankyou :) . I guess it's best to talk to a therapist. I am using this app called headspace for a week now for meditation. Haven't seen any great improvement but will try it for a while longer. Last 2 days the negative thoughts just break my focus and i had abort the session midway.
I find headspace helpful, it takes practice though, don't beat yourself up if you lose concentration, that OK.
 
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BrokenToy

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There is one more thing i want to share. When i was in a 9 to 5 job till the age of 33 i did not have this condition. Only when i have a lot of idle time now that i feel this way.
The exact same thing happened to me. As soon as I had more time to stew I crashed and burned.. It's good you have identified that. :)
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Apparently it's very common to get ill once the pressures off. When you are under stress and your body is running in fight or flight survival mode it keeps you going, then as you relax and your cortisol and adrenaline levels drop you crash.
 
B

BrokenToy

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That doesn't mean you were not ill before while you were working, just that you were so occupied it didn't get a chance to show itself properly.
 
J

Jefforey

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BrokenToy cazcat you both have been very helpful to me. Please tell me some of the things the therapist may ask me. I am very embarassed to talk to him about bullying that happend 20 years ago. Also it was not excessive as my mind is making it out to be. I grew up in a tough neighbourhood and that was a reason. But if you could suggest some mental excercises etc then that will be great. Also is there a online therapist? Money is no matter for me. Thankyou again for your kind words.
 
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