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Constant irrational fear of death

A

A sad chair

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
2
Hi guys! I’m new here.
So I’ve had this issue with an obsessive fear of death pretty much my entire life, although as a child I was not as self-aware and therefore this problem did not bother me half as much. My whole life I have been very superstitious (believing nearly all of the Friday the 13th superstitions), but around the time I was going through puberty, it began to get progressively worse. I used to and still agonize over random aches and pains all the time, worrying that it’s cancer even though 1. no one in my family has ever had the kinds of cancer I’m most worried about, 2. I rarely exhibit any of the other symptoms typically associated with that kind of cancer apart from the ache/pain 3. I fretted for days over a migraine. Every time I get an itch, sore, or scratch or whenever I feel nauseous, I wonder if it’s because someone poisoned me or I ate/touched/smelt something bad. Even though I’m fairly young, I’ve had constant irrational fear of dying some kind of horrible death. Every time I try to reason with myself, one part of my brain thinks, ‘come on, what are the odds?’ And the other part goes, ‘Well, that’s what they always think right before something awful happens’. For some people, it might be relatively easy to listen to the first ‘voice’, but for me and probably several other people it’s easier to hear the second. Every subtle indication of some life-altering disease I experience is a nightmare for me. I once took a photo with two family members on my phone where I was in the middle, and read a superstition about how the middle one dies first. Of course I’m glad that those people aren’t in the middle because they’re too important to me, but how it actually turned out isn’t a much better alternative. Those people are too important to me for me to delete the photo, but I can’t help being haunted by the superstition even though it’s ancient and doesn’t pertain to my religious beliefs. Every night I rummage through all the cabinets and closets and look under the bed for maniacs, and I double check to see if the doors are locked and the stoves are turned off. I can’t easily trust anyone because of this pressing fear that they’ll hurt or maybe even kill me. This irrational fear of death is, ironically, killing me. In other words, it’s bothering me immensely and I don’t know how to get rid of it. Maybe I can’t. All I know is that if I keep living like this, then my whole life regardless of how much time I have (hopefully it’s enough), I’ll always be afraid. I know that life is unpredictable and that there’s nothing we can do about how our lives turn out, but I can’t help wanting a future. I want to have a dream and I want to do something that I’m passionate about and don’t regret or fear. We can’t always have what we want, but I really, really think that despite all the odds I deserve at least that. At public places I am constantly afraid of a psycho breaking in armed. When in open water I am afraid of drowning or being attacked by a shark (even though statistically more people die from coconuts than from sharks). When I’m walking to or from a place, I’m afraid of being assaulted or killed. When I’m on land, I’m afraid of falling into a manhole. When I’m in a high place, I’m afraid of falling, when I’m on an airplane I’m afraid of the engines dying or not being able to land, when I’m at my own house I’m afraid of being burgled or attacked, In my sleep I think about all the superstitions that I’ve violated and all the things I maybe didn’t check enough, when I’m driving I’m afraid of getting into some freak accident, basically anywhere and everywhere I am afraid of dying. It really, truly bothers me, and thank you in advance to anyone who can help me.
I’m sorry for bothering you guys with such a long post. I hope someone out there can help me. :)
 
Last edited:
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
278
Location
UK
Hi A sad chair,

"fear of death" - natural.
"superstitious" - failed knowledge.
"worries" - failed knowledge.
"random aches and pains" - real entities though not random.
"fretted" inappropriate thoughts, they need self analysis.

You need self analysis.
 
A

A sad chair

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
2
Thanks for replying! Would you recommend a psychiatrist?
 
Inter Vivos

Inter Vivos

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
278
Location
UK
If you think you need extra help beyond yourself and cannot find help elsewhere i.e. through other people or through books, then if you live in the UK, you should see your GP (general practitioner). If you live anywhere else you should a see a physician.
 
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