Confusion over a friend

[Lozzi_1004]

I need some help with a friend of mine. I've just recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I'm in a depressive episode. Anyways, on Thursday a really good friend of mine said he didn't want anything more to do with me after I got back with my boyfriend (albeit we had only split up for 8 hours... me thinking he'd be better off with someone a little more stable etc). I was absolutely devasted - my friend was quite literally the male version of me! We share so many of the same interests and beliefs and as a true friend I need him in my life as much as any of my other friends and family!
Once he had told me he no longer wanted to be my friend "owing to what I had done" the first thing I did was pick up a knife, luckily my (other) friend rang at that time, found out what I was doing and came to pick me up and made sure I was safe at least until yesterday morning. Then last night I received a text from my friend saying how sorry he was and that he had hurt me in more ways than i could imagine, but he's had time to think and he can't bear us not being friends.

I'm so confused because I don't know if things are going to return to how they were or if we're just going to be awkward around each other?! I've lost one other friend because I was in a depressive episode and other because I was manic and it hurts so badly! It's obvious my friend likes me in more ways than he's letting on.
Has anyone else lost and regained friends like this? Could you offer any advice?

Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent!

Thankies
Lozzi

 

[KP1]

It sounds like you are having a tough time.
It sounds good that yourfriend has apologised and that he also values your friendship as you do his.
While you are so ill and trying to get meds sorted out just be kind to yourself. You might not be able to sort out complex relationships at the moment but good friends should understand and be patient with you.
The main thing is to take care of yourself and seek help when you don't feel safe.
KP

 

[Dollit]

When you lose a friend and then regain them the best thing to do if you can is to talk about why it happened. If it's to do with this relationship you have with your boyfriend then it's quite a big reaction.

I've just had an argument with a friend last week and we just gave each other a little space and we're fine now. But do try to remember that things happen most of the time because of life and not because of any illness we may or may not have.

 

[daffy]

Unfortunatly this is a side effect of bipolar for a lot of people that have recently been diagnosed. It can be very difficult and frightening for a friend to understand whats happening to you.

All I can suggest is that you talk openly to your friend about your illness, maybe ask for some leaflets from your psychiatrist.

Im sure once your friend understands your moods a bit more things will get back to normal.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

Thanks everyone, my other friends have pretty much said the same thing; for me to get myself better before I worry about anyone else.

The thing is he works with drug addicts, so he knows all about the illness and what it entails - he's stopped on the phone with me before calming me down until I fell asleep really just because he thought I'd at least be safe until I woke up when he'd text or ring me when he woke up to check on me.

I was thinking of emailing him and talking to him about what's going to happen with us but part of me doesn't want to because I'm scared of the answer and what I'll do

Lozzi