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Confusing Unique Intrusive Thought

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Ljthompson10

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
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3
Location
England
Hey guys, hope your all well❤

I’m a 20 year old boy from the UK and I’ve dealt with obsessive thoughts for about 4 years now. Approximately 4 years ago I went through a horrendous bout from health anxiety obsessive thoughts to intrusive thoughts about family. The way I manage to deal with ‘the more common’ intrusive thoughts is by just letting them be there, and trying not to give the thoughts a reaction when they enter my brain.

The last year has been so much better, I’ve truly been happier and become aware of how blessed my life is.

However, last week I was obsessing over my future as I’m in my final year of university and this gave me anxiety. I tend to make images up in my mind of how my future will go (almost like a diagram for the future) and I become obsessed over these.

(This is the part where it gets kinda wierd and embarrassing for me)

So for some reason I had a image popped into my head of 2 dots either side of my vision, as part of this future plan I was writing, almost like this:




For some weird reason this gave me anxiety, and the first thing that popped into my head was “what if I don’t forget this image”



Since then I’ve had these 2 dots pop in my mind since repetitively, and for some reason the fact it gives me anxiety and the fact I can’t forget it makes me feel so low. I struggle to treat it like the “more common” intrusive thoughts, because it’s so strange and almost doesn’t make sense. Which gives me even more anxiety. I know it sounds stupid and I’m sorry for that. But it’s so frustrating as my life is in such a fantastic position right now, and I feel guilty that this stupid thought is so annoying that it’s making me unhappy.



This mental image of these 2 dots gives me so much anxiety and makes me so upset. I just wanna look forward to the future and this is depressing me.



Anyway, does anyone have any advice for me? How to act when this silly thought comes into my head? I’d do anything.



Thanks in advance and I hope your all doing well❤
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Hi and welcome to the forum!
I too suffer with intrusive thoughts so i can understand how you are feeling.
I try and distract myself when i get the thoughts. I know that they cannot hurt me. I know that they are not "real". They are just thoughts and i try and get past them by thinking that. Not giving them too much attention. I know its not easy to do and i wish there was a magic wand that would banish them!
Keep talking,
Hugs
Fox
 
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Ljthompson10

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
3
Location
England
Thanks so much for your reply! I genuinely appreciate it. It’s just the fact that this isn’t a thoughts that makes sense. It’s like a mental image that give someone me so much anxiety but I don’t know why...
It’s like I can’t escape it but it’s so embarrassing because it doesn’t even make sense as to why it’s bothering me. With thoughts about harming people I understand why that is disturbing, but with this it’s just the fact it won’t leave my head and annoys me so much :(
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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I too get pictures flash in my head. Repeating also. Quite often i scrunch my eyes up and then refocus on a point on the wall, a picture, a blemish in the paintwork, a pattern on the wallpaper- something to take my mind off of it.
 
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Ljthompson10

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Nov 5, 2019
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Location
England
Yeah I guess. It’s just horrible I feel so alone like no one else has the same issue. It’s not even a “bad thought” it’s a stupid mental image of 2 dots that gives me anxiety
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Yeah I guess. It’s just horrible I feel so alone like no one else has the same issue. It’s not even a “bad thought” it’s a stupid mental image of 2 dots that gives me anxiety
You are not alone x
 
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EstherRose94

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Mar 2, 2019
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Location
USA
Can we come up with a positive meaning for the dots? Idk what exactly, I’m not the most creative person but like “Loved one’s eyes watching over me” or something to that effect. So that when you think of it it’ll just make you feel happy and then you can go on from there.
 
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