Confused!

[Tainted]

Hi everyone

I am new to this forum, I have introduced myself but haven't replied to or started a thread.

I have had depression for about seven years now ( I am 28). I have had to admissions to hospital my last being January of this year. At the time I had a really good CPN and I found a phsycotherapy group really helpful. My husband was too very supportive.

However since March of this year I feel as though the quality of my support has slowy started to reduce.

My Phsy group I just can not talk and there are too many poeple in the group and not enough time. I now have a new CPN who is absoloutley rubbish ( I am dealing with her at the moment) and I feel as though my husband has had enough of my depression and everything that comes with it (I can't really blame him). I feel I have so much to say and talk about but know wehre / one to talk to. I feel like I am beginning to spiral down again and I know I need to bring this to peoples attention so they and I can help me. But I have know one to talk too. I feel so frustrated, angry and low.

 

[rollinat]

Hi Tainted
Good to hear from you but sorry that you're having such a rough time.

You said that you were dealing with your new CPN - does that mean you are still seeing her, or trying to replace her with someone you get on better with?

It's a shame that your psychotherapy group is too big for you to feel comfortable talking. Are there any other groups available that might be better for you?

Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling? Perhaps he doesn't realise how bad things are getting again. If he has been supportive in the past hopefully he will be again, but I guess you need to tell him what's going on.

One thing you might like to do is start a journal here - it's a good place to release those pent-up feelings. Sometimes I find that just by writing it down other ways of looking at things become apparent to me.

Take care and keep posting.

Rollinat

 

[Tainted]

Hi Rollinat, thanks for your reply.

Last week I tried to talk to my new CPN and tell her how I felt. I am very bad at confrontation and made a real mess of it. I have since sent her an e-mail where I explained mt concerns about her to her. That was last Thursday and she hasn't responded! We are due to meet in a couple of weeks so I asume the we will discuss it then. I'm hopeing she will just re allocate me with someone else.

You are right, I should talk to my husband especailly as I am, always being told I don't talk about my feelings enough, I just don't want to scare him off.

I lkie youer idea about the journal, I think I might give it a go. Especially as I have so much to say and know one to say it to. Perhaps a note book will be a good way of venting my feelings.

Thanks for your advice Rollinat.

 

[Tortoise]

Hello Tainted

I can relate to what you say about the erosion of the quality of your support.
I was allocated a new Consultant earlier this year after my previous Doctor of 12 years moved on to other duties.

I couldn't bring myself to attend the first appointment with him and now I'm worried that I shall drop out of the system because I haven't been sent a further appointment.

Like you, I'm afraid of confrontation and tend to adopt a polite and compliant aspect towards others, especially those in authority.

Perhaps a journal would be a good idea. Make sure nobody else can read it (including your husband) and use it to try and express some of those difficult feelings.

I'm often afraid of losing control when strong emotion like violent anger comes to the surface. Anything which allows me to let off any of that excess steam is helpful. Perhaps you can relate to this?

I hope you get your CPN difficulties sorted out.

Take care

 

[Tainted]

Hello Philip

Sorry to hear about your new consultant, after such a long time it must be very difficult to have to re adjust to a new person. I know our medical notes are available to read, but I always feel as though I have to start from the beginning when someone who has been supporting me changes!

How long has it been since your appointment with your consultant?

I like you haven't attended my last appointment with my consultant (in fact the last two) I have received a letter asking me to contact his secretary to arrange an appointment. I don't know why but I just haven't the motivation to do this. Thinking about it, it could be again becase the last time I went I saw a different doctor who didn't seem to know much about me. He just told me that Stephen Fry had bi Polar. I knew this any way and didn't really see how this was supposed to help in my recovery.

Oh well, I'll get starting with my journal I think.