Confused

[benji]

Hi, i joined this forum to try and find out what if any thing is wrong with me.
My gp diagnosed epilepsy last August since then i have had all the tests and the specialists thinks it is not epilepsy or heart.
I have grey outs, where i feel physically unable to do any thing, about the only thing i can do is hear.
Often times i feel very very tired but i can over come it by doing some thing active.
I often feel like crying for no reason, which is stupid because i am a middle aged male.
I hear things, like a tap running or people talking outside , these noises could be real but i have never found a tap running.
It seems i can never stop thinking, thoughts pop into my head from no where,
not the usual things i would think about.
I have not been allowed to work or drive for six months now and am living off my savings, so i really need to get back to work asap.
Do these symptoms sound like any thing or are they just random and not related?
Also i seem to have very poor short term memory, i am even forgetting how to spell words i know i could before.
thanks for any help.

 

[Twylight]

Hi Benji and welcome to the forum

I would ask your Gp to refer you to a Psychiatrist - mainly because your mind seems to be racing.

 

[schizolanza]

Yep,people on the forum can't diagnose anything...

 

[benji]

Thank you for replies, i accept you guys can not diagnose any thing, i just need to know what if any of my first post means any thing, i mean even i am not sure if it is imagination or real, i do know i have grey outs and get very tired, but i live on my own so i have no one to verify these things, i have people who have seen me grey out but apart from that and one incident where i was very abusive to people (totally out of character) i just do not know what to think.

 

[Twylight]

Hi Benji, could you elaborate a bit more about your 'Grey outs '

I don't want to telegraph any symptoms to you..

 

[benji]

Hi Twylight, this may sound strange but it is the most honest i can be,
to start i feel as things are not real and i should not be there, all most as if i were looking through some one else's eyes, but i know my surroundings are real,
i get a weird feeling and then tunnel vision, after that i have to rely on other to say what happens, they say i am do not respond to them , even though i can hear what they say, i feel like i am totally exhausted, it lasts for about 5 minutes, after i am a bit shaky but totally okay after 10.
Other times when driving, i have a weired feeling and every thing seems wrong,
it seems to take ages to get to a point i know should be only a few minutes away and i start to panic after what seems an eternity i reach a place i recognise and all is well.
Other times, i feel the exhausted state coming on and can avoid the semi conscious state by getting up and doing some work,
the heart specialist has ruled out heart problems with many tests, the worst thing is i am so angry that i can not stop these things now i know i am physically okay and it is not epilepsy.
Thanks for help

 

[Twylight]

Ok, i'll be honest too
I'm a sponsor on another forum and i've read about a symptom called dissociation - where people can feel they lose there own identity.
This is a well recognised condition and the best I can do to help is to reccommend that you talk to a proffessional as soon as possible...

 

[benji]

Feeling tired, worn out and weepy all the time, and so annoyed that i can not break out of it, and ashamed to face any one, how pathetic is that, a grown man tuned into a weed, i have all ways enjoyed giving things, so i bought mom
a new tv may be when i give it to her i will get a rush.

Oh, still can not get to the other forum.

 

[Dollit]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

Does this sound like you do you think?

 

[keepsafe]

I used to have "grey outs" as you call them all the time - I used to be left with really bad migraine headaches afterwards. I think they were caused by high anxiety - not sure, but I also have dissocation.

I could hear everything that was happening, but I could not see or move and afterwards I would be left with a sort of pins and needles and a huge migraine.

They are frightening, but could be dissocation maybe? You should see your doctor again.

This is what my Psychologist wrote:
Experience of dissociative flashbacks, until then I didn;t know what to call my symptoms, I am not saying yours are the same - but its better to go back to visit your G.P.

I also don;t know whether the two things may be different?

Not being any help here am I

Hope you are o.k anyway KS
I just see you called the thread confused - and I think I have confused it too - sorry

 

[benji]

Dollit, some or almost all of that sounds about right, i guess i will have to see my gp again.
Hey Keepsafe, i am sure every one knows more about these thing than i do
so any help is most welcome

 

[Dollit]

I was just talking to my GP about it last week as I get derealizaton/dissociation and know how confusing it can be. It's like not quite being here.

 

[benji]

With me i have a feeling, the best way i can describe, is a feeling like you know some one is going to fall off a cycle on to a gravel road, and they are just wearing tee shirt and shorts, then every thing around me seems strange, i know people around me, friends, family, work mates, but it is more like i am (viewing) them and i feel i should not be there, then some times i have a grey out.
Two times i have been driving along a road i know very well but then it seems wrong, it seems to take forever to reach a roundabout i know it should only take seconds, i look at the speedo and it is showing 50 mph i think that it is not working properly and the car is just crawling along, but the trees i am passing still seem to flash past as if i am doing 50mph, i get a feeling of panic/dread, but then i reach the roundabout and every thing is back to normal.
Even now looking around it feels like i am not attached to any thing.

 

[Dollit]

When I get dissociation often it's when I'm out walking. I know I should recognize where I am but I don't. I often get lost. Once it happened and I was right at my front door before I realized where I was. I got lost going to a supermarket once which was 20 minutes walk away, up one street and then down another. I find that really scary.

The derealization is harder but my consultant and GP have made a definite line between them even though they're grouped together.

What they both say though is that it's stress that brings this on for me and that by trying to remove the stress that needn't happen in my life we can keep this to a minimum.

 

[benji]

How do you tell a gp this without his jaw dropping, there have been times i wanted to tell him but didn't, then i feel stupid for not telling him about the things i wanted to tell him, i guess i worry about loosing control of my life to some one in a white coat and the stigma, but then i really need my life back to normal,

Getting lost must be a worry.