- Jun 8, 2020
Reaching out today as I have reached out to my mental health team in the past few days and they haven't really done much to help. I'm a male and I suffer from bpd, since about march I have been starting to feel quite a bit worse then what I used to, a few weeks back I tried to take my own life, I spoke to my therapist and he didn't really seam to concerned, since then I have not felt right, I find it hard to explain but everything doesn't feel real, everything looks hazy and fuzzy. I feel agitated a lot of the time, to points where I find it hard to sit still. The past few days this has got worse, I keep seeing coloured spots float around my vision occasionally I have seen a object that I can see in the corner of my eye start moving like its vibrating then when I directly look at it, it stops moving. I have mentioned this to my therapist and all I have been told is maybe I need my eyes testing. I can understand that if it was just my eyes it could be that, but everytime I have seen coloured spots or stuff move it has been when I have been in a agitated state. I don't think I'm psychotic, I'm not sure what it is? I've been told to keep a note of when this happens and what I was doing at the time. There's apparently nothing currently at the moment they can do due to the coronavirus pandemic, which I don't find fair, I can go in to a pub and buy a drink or go shopping, but I can't get mental health support, I can't enter the building to attend group courses which I think would help. I don't really know what to do really, I drive a car, I work for the NHS in a clinical area and my mental health team are just letting me do this stuff even when I have suggested the idea that maybe I'm not safe to do these tasks. I can't just stop working as then ill have no money. I feel really confused on what to do and any suggestions or other peoples own experiences would be greatly appreciated.