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Confused

A

Ana

Active member
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
35
Location
Romania
Hi all!
I hope everyone’s doing wonderful.
I have started a new job almost 3 months ago and I had a horrible experience in many ways, from the wrong job description to the bad treatment that I’m being given (verbal bad treatment).
Now everyday I go to work I literally try my best to be as nice as possible.
These days I’ve noticed that I have become super rude and just basically not in the mood. When a colleague says something to me I just reply in short and with no expressions. I try my best to keep a distance from everyone.
I know it’s a bad thing to do because I might have a better experience if I act otherwise, however I was nice when I first came in and I was smiling and trying my best to be associated with them, but it tired me so much, there’s no satisfaction, I feel worthless so I stopped and basically now I’m just trying my best to show to them that I don’t care about them and I’m not gonna engage in convos with them aside from work.
This has also tired me, both ways tired me so much.
I’m just worried that I will explode one day and not be able to keep on working.
I have tried certain things that might relax me such as going to massage therapy and working out but to no avail.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Tomorrow morning I have work as well and I’m already dreading it.
I’m just worried that I might be depressed and not know it.
 
calypso

calypso

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Depressed or not, something bad is going on for you. If both ways exhaust you, why not keep tot the nice way - just a thought. I think you would benefit from some therapy of some kind to get to the root of this. Its not easy to find and does cost a bit but maybe worthwhile?

You could start by going to the GP with a list of symptoms you have. Have you looked up depression questionnaires on the internet and answered any of their questions. We can sometimes have a hidden depression like all kinds of things going wrong and we just don't realise it. Like over eating or undereating, or waking up early in the morning, being restless for no reason, etc etc. Try and find one and see what it says to you.
 
A

Ana

Active member
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
35
Location
Romania
Depressed or not, something bad is going on for you. If both ways exhaust you, why not keep tot the nice way - just a thought. I think you would benefit from some therapy of some kind to get to the root of this. Its not easy to find and does cost a bit but maybe worthwhile?

You could start by going to the GP with a list of symptoms you have. Have you looked up depression questionnaires on the internet and answered any of their questions. We can sometimes have a hidden depression like all kinds of things going wrong and we just don't realise it. Like over eating or undereating, or waking up early in the morning, being restless for no reason, etc etc. Try and find one and see what it says to you.
Thank you!
Yes I’ve been under eating because of the work stress.
I tried to be a happy go lucky person today and one of my colleagues noticed and said you are finally in the mood.
I realise I must get to the root of it, however I know it will take a while to discover anything because I know I will do it later due to the job stress and all.
Thank you
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
43,249
Location
Lancashire
Do you enjoy the job you do? If not, can you imagine yourself in another one which might be less stressful? There is usually a trigger for how we feel so perhaps look for an event or action which started this all off for you.

I am glad that your work colleague noticed your hard work to be a friendlier person. That should give you some positive feedback. I see you are from Roumania, what are doctors like out there with MH problems? Keep strong.
 
A

Ana

Active member
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
35
Location
Romania
Do you enjoy the job you do? If not, can you imagine yourself in another one which might be less stressful? There is usually a trigger for how we feel so perhaps look for an event or action which started this all off for you.

I am glad that your work colleague noticed your hard work to be a friendlier person. That should give you some positive feedback. I see you are from Roumania, what are doctors like out there with MH problems? Keep strong.
I don’t really enjoy it because there’s no satisfaction and I feel like I have been tricked. The job I’m doing doesn’t match the job description at all, so I feel betrayed somehow.
Mental health has a stigma attached to it here sadly.
And a dr with mental issue will probably be out of job if he or she has a serious mental issue.
And in regards to my colleague, I think he just figured that I’m a moody person because he said you are in the mood today aren’t you.
 
calypso

calypso

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Oh you are a doctor? Did I read that right? They can be the worst at stigma. Is there any chance you can change your job in the coming months? It sounds very stressful to me and I sympathise. Moody is one thing, but depressed is another. Did you try any of the internet tests for depression to see if you have that? Sorry for the questions.

There must be a solution to your problem, can you think of anything if you had free rein?
 
A

Ana

Active member
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
35
Location
Romania
Oh you are a doctor? Did I read that right? They can be the worst at stigma. Is there any chance you can change your job in the coming months? It sounds very stressful to me and I sympathise. Moody is one thing, but depressed is another. Did you try any of the internet tests for depression to see if you have that? Sorry for the questions.

There must be a solution to your problem, can you think of anything if you had free rein?
No I’m not, however I know it’s like that because my friend is one.
I’m kind of in a hard situation, the only reason I’m in this job is because it’s a big well established place but it’s def unsatisfactory in the sense that I’m not growing rather I’m turning into someone else.
I want to investigate more about depression and check because I need to get to the root of it.
Thank you :)
 
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