Confused!

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Tomoose

New member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
2
#1
Bit of a weird subject!

I’m ready to die but I really don’t want to kill myself!

I feel I have an okay life but it’s not the best, I’m sick of my job and my daily routines. I just want everything to go away and me be happy in a different life/alternative situation. I fantasise about someone or an event ending my life, just need some advise or help on this situation.
 
A

Allways Curious

Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
6
#3
"Beam me up Scotty"

Bit of a weird subject!

I’m ready to die but I really don’t want to kill myself!

I feel I have an okay life but it’s not the best, I’m sick of my job and my daily routines. I just want everything to go away and me be happy in a different life/alternative situation. I fantasise about someone or an event ending my life, just need some advise or help on this situation.
Hey Tomoose ...
First about me to prove how much I know what you mean:
I often have thought that way and especially lately, like daily almost. My situation is a bit different from yours though, its more like a nightmare I cant wake up from year after year ... I want to be gone and fantasize about how my next life will be all I cant be in this life and mostly my situation and past would be different... Suicide will only devastate my friends and loved ones ... So something else would have to do it so I wouldst be responsible for their pain (must be quick and painless !! lol )... So I say "Im just waiting for my bus" if you know what I mean.

But as you know ... something to keep in mind is that you have zero control over what happens in my next life let alone have any awareness of your new found wish in your next life and this current life would not know the satisfaction of the new chance. So its just an escape from current reality that only gives a few moments of happiness. And were left with the reality that we only have this current life to either Endure with what we have , or "make things happen" (even if we dont know how). A motivating thing to keep in mind : when your old and grey sitting in your rocking chair talking about your life with the other old greys, are you going to have somethings to share or are you just going to be listening to the others and what they had and made of thier life. Kinda puts a fire under your ass to "make things happen".
Can I ask how old you are ?
 
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Tomoose

New member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
2
#4
Hey,

I understand and get what you mean but I also can’t see myself getting old, the thought of being old scares me and only adds to the fact I want to die young. I’ve just recently turned 26.
 
A

Allways Curious

Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
6
#5
Ive always dreaded getting old. Its something that happens out of our control. One things for sure: death may be an "out" but more so its a "shameful waste". A waste of possibilities, opportunities, love, laughter, good friendships,excitement, euphoric moments. All the "spices of life" that only life can offer. Growing old scares the hell out of everyone (the big unknown). But it should be a motivator to make the most of your youth while you can (remember that rocking chair)... IF you can change your situation so that you start enjoying life, you will want more of it . If having kids is in your future, you surely will want to be around to watch them grow and then watch the grand kids grow up and so on.

Your 26 , want a different situation. The great news is your only about 1/4 of the way thru your life. There is soooooo much more time and opportunity to figure things out, change your situation, make mistakes and still have plenty of time to recover from them. You have no idea what is around the corner (could be awesome) this can change your perspective... We think we know everything about our situation and how things will be ,until be realize we don't (that comes with age also ;) And you may be pleasantly surprised.

Figure out what excites you, what your passionate about, what makes you happy. Exploit that and the mental energy from that can serve as fuel to change your situation.