Confused, lost, overwhelmed... Who knows but you really just want to cry!

C

cmh0277

Member
Joined
May 31, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Celina, tx
#1
So almost 2 years ago I had a counselor suggest I had BPD... Without much of a thought I dismissed her. Over the past year I have struggled with myself, my identity and most of all with my relationships. I feel so disconected and unable to put into word how hopeless and stuck I feel. Was I always like this..? Is it just thebsituation I am in now? Will it go on forever? Is there any way out? How do you keep going when everything seems to be against you or that the people you let close to you will never stick around.. When will things go bad and leave me a mess again? Oh wait... I think I might be doing it to myself... I obsess over every little thing, I worry the worst will always happen.. I tell myself Im not afraid to be alone, yet im terrified at moving out of my parents when im 28 years old. How can this be my life?? Why do i feel so disconected all the time? Does anyone even care? As I feel all of these mixed emotions and sort all these thoughts if I think rationally I know there is an amazing man in my bed sleeping as i sit here listening to the stillness of the night, but my irrational thoughts always win.. He doesnt love me. I will never be good enough. Im a failure. Why do I even try? He is going to leave me, cheat or he has to be lying about something... I mean what is he hiding? Or is the truth that I am the one hiding... Boxing myself off and self sabatoging because im scared... Am I ready for what life will bring next? Or would it just be easier to slip away...
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
584
Location
Norfolk
#2
I think it may be time to get down to the doctor who could arrange a Psychological Assessment with the Well-being Service for you and maybe put you on medication, if you’re not already on it.
If you want to know more about BPD, I would recommend you get yourself a book called Mindfulness for BPD, by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen. This should allow you to learn techniques to ease your pain and suffering.
NEVER give up. It’s a tough journey but most people recover from BPD and are able to live full and fulfilling lives. Stay strong.
 

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