Confused By A Weird Thing?

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Amathe77

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I’m wondering about something and may post this on several forums because I have no idea where this falls and I have several diagnoses.

Back when I was in high school, I developed an issue related to certain patterns. Whether it was a honey comb, the way the palm tree overlapped, or the way certain food looked, it would greatly distress me to look at it. It would make me incredibly angry and I would honestly get filled with such dread that I would rather die than look at whatever particular thing it was. Around the same time, I got into a really bad issue where if my sheet bunched up under me, I’d have a rage fit and have to fix it. I had a lot of stuffed animals on my bed and I’d rage if they were moved.

I’ve been out of high school for almost five years and for the most part, these issues don’t occur that often any more. However, I picked up a new thing somewhere in between high school and now, where certain sounds give me this same feeling. Chewing is a fairly normal thing to not like, but I also hate nails tapping or people picking at their nails. Various sounds related to plates/bowls and forks/spoons drive me nuts. I started watching Black Mirror this last week and I get the same feeling from female British accents (I’m from the US). At first I thought this was just the particular character but it continued. Tonight I was watching ASMR on YouTube and the same thing happened when a British woman started talking in the video; the feeling of anger and dread. I had to turn it off like I did with Black Mirror.

I guess it’s important to note that I can’t eat certain foods because of the look. Corn beef gives me this feeling, so I can’t make myself even touch it. Some times of scrambled eggs do it to me. If I’m eating spaghetti and a crunch into a piece of onion or garlic from the sauce, I start gagging and can’t finish my food. If my brain thinks there’s something wrong with the texture of what I’m chewing, I can’t eat it.

I feel like a lunatic because Google is useless and I don’t know anyone else who has these specific problems. Is this part of anxiety, or something else? (For whatever reason, I don’t recall this ever being a talking point in therapy & I don’t go anymore). Any ideas would be greatly appreciated because I don’t get what my problem is.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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Hi @Amathe77,

I’m not sure if it is part of anxiety but I do get the same feelings you’re describing when it comes to sounds. I feel my blood is boiling when someone is tapping their nails on a hard surface or kicking their foot on the table leg.

Your condition of certain patterns bothering you or the stuffed animals being in a place you don’t like could be an OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
 
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Amathe77

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Hi @Amathe77,

I’m not sure if it is part of anxiety but I do get the same feelings you’re describing when it comes to sounds. I feel my blood is boiling when someone is tapping their nails on a hard surface or kicking their foot on the table leg.

Your condition of certain patterns bothering you or the stuffed animals being in a place you don’t like could be an OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Well, I’m glad I’m not alone on some of it! Thank you. I had considered the OCD possibility because of some of the stuff I read in my last psychology class. I go to the doctor tomorrow morning to discuss some of my mental health issues. I don’t know if this is even worth bringing up because I don’t feel it’s fully impairing my functioning capabilities, nor do I even want to add another diagnosis to my list lol. I also wonder if it could possibly be related to bipolar disorder in some way? Since I’m already having a lot of issues with it right now and suddenly the British accent is bothering me?
 
HauntedWitch

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Well, I’m glad I’m not alone on some of it! Thank you. I had considered the OCD possibility because of some of the stuff I read in my last psychology class. I go to the doctor tomorrow morning to discuss some of my mental health issues. I don’t know if this is even worth bringing up because I don’t feel it’s fully impairing my functioning capabilities, nor do I even want to add another diagnosis to my list lol. I also wonder if it could possibly be related to bipolar disorder in some way? Since I’m already having a lot of issues with it right now and suddenly the British accent is bothering me?
I have Bipolar, and I don't have any of your symptoms. I have heard of people with high anxiety levels being irritable about noises, colors etc, but really, what you're describing sounds like OCD to me. I don't know a lot about it, other than to say I know people who have it. They have complained to me that they are easily irritated by those kinds of small details that I would either be savoring or not noticing.

I know what you mean about not wanting another diagnosis! Maybe you could do some online reading about OCD and see if any of it resonates with you, then take it from there.
 
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Amathe77

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I have Bipolar, and I don't have any of your symptoms. I have heard of people with high anxiety levels being irritable about noises, colors etc, but really, what you're describing sounds like OCD to me. I don't know a lot about it, other than to say I know people who have it. They have complained to me that they are easily irritated by those kinds of small details that I would either be savoring or not noticing.

I know what you mean about not wanting another diagnosis! Maybe you could do some online reading about OCD and see if any of it resonates with you, then take it from there.
Thank you, I guess that clears up the anxiety idea. Even though I’ve read about OCD a hundred times and I’ve resonated with a lot of it, I can’t help but feel like I don’t have bad enough symptoms to fall into that diagnosis. I guess that’s because I have this weird fear type issue with adding even more on to my list of diagnoses. Also related to how media has pretty much completely twisted my perception of the disorder.
 
HauntedWitch

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Also related to how media has pretty much completely twisted my perception of the disorder.
I'm not sure whether you're referring to social media or the news, but either way...it isn't looking good for any of us with MH issues. Sometimes it's good to take a vacation from media garbage exposure to the mind. Even the movies are loaded with overly biased and ignorant pseudo-facts about mental health.
 
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Amathe77

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I'm not sure whether you're referring to social media or the news, but either way...it isn't looking good for any of us with MH issues. Sometimes it's good to take a vacation from media garbage exposure to the mind. Even the movies are loaded with overly biased and ignorant pseudo-facts about mental health.
I meant both. I’ve seen news stories about various mental disorders and they don’t portray them correctly, which is just helping lead to an even worse stigma. Movies and television shows really capitalize on making people seem crazy and violent, when those aren’t often symptoms of the disorder the character is portraying. It’s sad really.
 
HauntedWitch

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I meant both. I’ve seen news stories about various mental disorders and they don’t portray them correctly, which is just helping lead to an even worse stigma. Movies and television shows really capitalize on making people seem crazy and violent, when those aren’t often symptoms of the disorder the character is portraying. It’s sad really.
Exactly. I don't know what's with the news lately. Even on other issues besides mental health, it's getting so I don't know who or what to believe in news reporting. Anyone would think that MH patients are all supposed to be so dangerous. In reality, many of those MH patients the public is taught to fear are too ill to even contemplate harming someone else. They're more likely themselves to become the victims of real criminals. I remember reading something a psychologist wrote about on this subject many years ago.
 
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