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Confused, asking for advice I think or just reflecting, not sure. Hard day mentally and emotionally.

Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Hi, sorry for posting so much. Feeling confused and horrible.

Monday might be my last appointment with my current therapist. Before every appointment there is a survey. I always click "never" for one questions, partly because it skips from "never" to "several days a week." There should be an "occasionally". I was also advised not to admit this.

I had a nice day yesterday. Today, my emotions crashed. By the afternoon, I had feelings of not wanting to be around. Yesterday, I didn't feel this way and I'm not going anywhere. I will be here for my son and husband and for me too. One night when I was cooking as these feelings came over me, I told myself, I'm not going anywhere I have a kid, won't be going anywhere for at least 10 years. Then my thought was he needs a least like 20 years and then a conflicting thoughts followed, 10 years is a long time. And ofcourse why am I even thinking of this. This kind of thinking happened in the past. I have been okay.

I am not sure if I want to change how I answer that question. Not sure if it would be helpful or just upset progress and things that need changing so these occasional thoughts stay away.

Thank you
 
P

Purpleplum

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You don't say what question is but i think i figured it out. Don't worry about what you answered and don't feel you have to change it.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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You don't say what question is but i think i figured it out. Don't worry about what you answered and don't feel you have to change it.
Thanks. I have to answer weekly before appointments.
 
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2Much2Feel

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God, we are on the same page in a lot of ways. I remember telling my then husband years ago that I only had to live another 13 years, b/c then my son would be in college and wouldn't need me anymore. Now, rather quickly, 10 years has gone by, and I tell myself at my worst points that I only have 3 to go. But then comes the logical people, who tell me that just b/c he'll be in college doesn't mean he won't need a mom or that me doing that wouldn't totally disrupt his life. I thought I was the only one who counted the years that way or something, I don't know. But I get it. Please hang in there. And if you don't feel you can talk to your current therapist about it, I hope you feel you can be honest w your next, as you may get some help w it. Sometimes I'm honest on it, sometimes not. Don't want to get locked up or anything, plus my moods change so constantly.

Kids do keep you going, but man is it hard sometimes. Hugs.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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God, we are on the same page in a lot of ways. I remember telling my then husband years ago that I only had to live another 13 years, b/c then my son would be in college and wouldn't need me anymore. Now, rather quickly, 10 years has gone by, and I tell myself at my worst points that I only have 3 to go. But then comes the logical people, who tell me that just b/c he'll be in college doesn't mean he won't need a mom or that me doing that wouldn't totally disrupt his life. I thought I was the only one who counted the years that way or something, I don't know. But I get it. Please hang in there. And if you don't feel you can talk to your current therapist about it, I hope you feel you can be honest w your next, as you may get some help w it. Sometimes I'm honest on it, sometimes not. Don't want to get locked up or anything, plus my moods change so constantly.

Kids do keep you going, but man is it hard sometimes. Hugs.
Thank you. I feel disconnected sometimes. My son called me down for dinner and said, "Mamma " so beautifully. Perfect.. It's love captured in sound, his sweet voice. I wish I could cut the anger, tired, and hurt out. I wish I could rest a long time and return feeling better. I too am afraid of an overreaction. My moods sometimes have more control over me than vice versa. All of my efforts don't matter when they hit strongly, just barring it is best until it passes but it's suffocating. Thanks for sharing with me. It helps that someone knows. xo
 
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2Much2Feel

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Thank you. I feel disconnected sometimes. My son called me down for dinner and said, "Mamma " so beautifully. Perfect.. It's love captured in sound, his sweet voice. I wish I could cut the anger, tired, and hurt out. I wish I could rest a long time and return feeling better. I too am afraid of an overreaction. My moods sometimes have more control over me than vice versa. All of my efforts don't matter when they hit strongly, just barring it is best until it passes but it's suffocating. Thanks for sharing with me. It helps that someone knows. xo
Every mom feels that stuff at times, us maybe a lot more. I think guilt is just built into the position. If you can take a physical break, even a short one, that helps. I know a lot of people don't have that luxury sometimes. I fell apart completely a couple of times when my son was young, he honestly doesn't remember it. They are resilient, so we need to take breaks, and give ourselves a break when we don't seem like some "FB soccer mom" or something.
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

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Every mom feels that stuff at times, us maybe a lot more. I think guilt is just built into the position. If you can take a physical break, even a short one, that helps. I know a lot of people don't have that luxury sometimes. I fell apart completely a couple of times when my son was young, he honestly doesn't remember it. They are resilient, so we need to take breaks, and give ourselves a break when we don't seem like some "FB soccer mom" or something.
Your son has a loving and caring mom. 💗
FB only shows part of the story.
Even though kids can be resilient, you have been too. Thank you for the caring positive perspectives. xo
 
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2Much2Feel

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Your son has a loving and caring mom. 💗
FB only shows part of the story.
Even though kids can be resilient, you have been too. Thank you for the caring positive perspectives. xo
We really need to take our own advice, don't we (lol)? You sound like an amazing mom. Thank you for your response :)
 
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