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Conflicting emotions and opinions

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dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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Does anyone else here suffer with extremely conflicting emotions and opinions, such as 'I don't need a partner in my life, I'm better off alone so I can focus on me' to 'damn, I would really love a partner as I believe love is the main purpose of our existence'. Trying to make sense of this constant conflict
 
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3henry

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Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Messages
33
Location
Unvierse
I often had conflicting emotions. It can be about some big life events or it can be small things like do I eat some food or not. One moment I can be in love with someone, the other I hate them. But with some therapy it got better for me. Do you see a therapist?
 
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Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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Florida
I ask this because maybe you have doubts about a relationship right now in your life. If love happens it is going to happen been going on since the beginning of time.

Either way conflicting emotions are not so uncommon just if you focus on it to much. Talking to therapist may help allot-get your down and under feelings out there to someone. This site is I would think pretty confidential. And plenty of suggestions for people like us who are going through just about anything. hugs
 
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Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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I do not have a partner nut my good friend fines them on dating sites all the time-she has ran the whole 9 yards when it comes to dating "the right!" one. I am more a one on one person I could not just keep going on dating sites.
 
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3henry

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Feb 23, 2019
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There are a lot of possibilities to find a partner. Perhaps your friend can introduce you to someone.
 
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Girl interupted

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Nov 17, 2018
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1,255
It’s about fear winning out over desire.

You want. But it can cause pain.

The result is limbo.
 
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dewey

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Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
I ask this because maybe you have doubts about a relationship right now in your life. If love happens it is going to happen been going on since the beginning of time.

Either way conflicting emotions are not so uncommon just if you focus on it to much. Talking to therapist may help allot-get your down and under feelings out there to someone. This site is I would think pretty confidential. And plenty of suggestions for people like us who are going through just about anything. hugs
Thanks *hug*
Yup, as it happens I ask this question because it comes up a lot with my therapist, holding two extremely different, strong emotions at the same time or two feelings/opinions towards a situation. I don't know why this always comes up. And I was wondering how common this is. It is quite frustrating as one becomes a slave to the emotions, trying to overcome this!!! X
 
Rusko

Rusko

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
20
Location
UK
That is pretty common feeling to me.

I could not think about anything else but the person I was infatuated about until my heart broke on the footpath of my life, I thought to be an atheist and worship nihilism by the age of 18 by then realising that there is still hope in humanity despite all the awful things we do and feel.

Now I am a cynical optimist. I think I found my way by not allowing the bitterness of my soul to take over my rational mind.

But yes, I still think sometimes that I would burn this Earth to the ground if I could and few hours later thinking how beautiful the sky is, I could never destroy such a view.
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

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Feb 10, 2019
Messages
144
Location
New york
Yes this happens to me all the time everyday! In fact right now my boyfriend isn’t talking to me and I’m terrified he’s going to abandon me, so I’ve been drifting between “I’m better off without him he doesn’t understand me he was bad for me anyway” to “I miss him I love him I can’t live without him I need him to hold me I love him”.

At my core I just want us to be okay, I don’t want him to leave me. But if he does, I don’t know if any other way to protect myself other than by devaluing him. Even if he doesn’t leave it feels like it’s happening right now.

For me, that’s what it’s normally about: protecting myself and my feelings. My ego?
 
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dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
That is pretty common feeling to me.

I could not think about anything else but the person I was infatuated about until my heart broke on the footpath of my life, I thought to be an atheist and worship nihilism by the age of 18 by then realising that there is still hope in humanity despite all the awful things we do and feel.

Now I am a cynical optimist. I think I found my way by not allowing the bitterness of my soul to take over my rational mind.

But yes, I still think sometimes that I would burn this Earth to the ground if I could and few hours later thinking how beautiful the sky is, I could never destroy such a view.
You have quite a poetic use of language, you cannot surely be British? We're not that poetic when we speak haha
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
Yes this happens to me all the time everyday! In fact right now my boyfriend isn’t talking to me and I’m terrified he’s going to abandon me, so I’ve been drifting between “I’m better off without him he doesn’t understand me he was bad for me anyway” to “I miss him I love him I can’t live without him I need him to hold me I love him”.

At my core I just want us to be okay, I don’t want him to leave me. But if he does, I don’t know if any other way to protect myself other than by devaluing him. Even if he doesn’t leave it feels like it’s happening right now.

For me, that’s what it’s normally about: protecting myself and my feelings. My ego?
Interesting. Yes, protecting maybe, there is often an element of fear. Partly we hold onto the idea that if we are not attached to someone we will not experience the terrible uncertainty, or pain. I think it is the uncertainty, instability, lack of trust. Here's an interesting one:
“To avoid pain, they avoid pleasure." Osho.
 
Lostinthestatic

Lostinthestatic

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2019
Messages
144
Location
New york
Interesting. Yes, protecting maybe, there is often an element of fear. Partly we hold onto the idea that if we are not attached to someone we will not experience the terrible uncertainty, or pain. I think it is the uncertainty, instability, lack of trust. Here's an interesting one:
“To avoid pain, they avoid pleasure." Osho.
That quote speaks to me on too many levels. You are absolutely right about it all.
 
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