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Confidence

A

abertha

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
69
I have only posted once here before. I have not changed in circumstance since that, if I was in UK I would be on work benefits and seeing a therapist through the NHS, but here in Norway you have to pay for all healthcare, and they do not let foreigners have disability pay.

Anyway, I need a job. Theres no 2 ways about it, and the thing that is stopping me is my confidence. It is a requirement here that you speak norwegian to work here, even though almost everyone is fluent in english. I have picked up many norwegian words, but feel like I cannot speak them, especially to my other half, who is norwegian. I don't feel confident enough, to the point where I have extreme anxiety attacks if someone (like his family) try to get me to say something in norwegian.

I joined a school to learn norwegian last year, went for one day and cried for about 3 days after, and begged my other half to not be disappointed in me if I didnt go back, because I felt like I couldnt be there.It was awful.

There are tutors that will see you individually for lessons but this comes at a price, 55 pounds for a 45 minute lesson, not including the 20 pounds it will cost me in travel.

I think this problem is the one that is essentially ruining my life at the minute, as without a job or the confidence to go anywhere because of my language, I am isolated and completely alone. I have been asked that if my life is so bad, then why not get over the confidence problem and just do it, if thats my only problem - this I cannot answer. It feels impossible to me.
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
I am sorry you sound so isolated it must be very difficult.
Is there anything else you could try like voluntary work for instance or just joinning a social club or activity where there is less pressure on you. I badly need to work financially but am not up to it so I am trying voluntary work.
It might build up your self esteem doing something worthwhile and will help you improve your Norwegian.
Think about what you have achieved rather than what you haven't like living in Norway for starters .
Good luck.
KP
 
S

saffron

Guest
living in another country wil always bring some distress and feeling of isolation, you are obviously worried about being able to get on together with having to learn another language, that must ffeel like there is a lot of pressure on you.
However, your anxiety does stem just from language barriers.
ordinarily you say that people talk english most of the time, that will help with everyday life, but you should also take advantage of your husband and family teaching you the language, they do not expect you to talk fluently at the moment, it takes a long time to learn another language but it is easier if you are in that country.
your hubby or family will not feel anything bad about you not speaking their language properly at first and will probably be delighted to help you.
You can also go on line and learn languages, the BBC language site is quite good for beginners, once you have learnt the basics hopefully you will pick it up easier.

take your time and set yourself realistic goals, like learn one word that you would use per day, like hello, etc etc.

Hope this helps
S:)
 
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